The last 6 days have changed my life. I think that it is safe to say that this will probably be the most memorable Christmas ever. Christmas eve Bryan told my uncle that a baby may be just what we needed to change our world and relationships. My uncle responded, "A baby is the only thing that really ever has." There was a ton of wisdom in that statement.
I have thought a lot about that statement. Christ came to our world as a baby, adopted by Joseph, and created to change the world. What an awesome thing that God has done in our lives. He has given us our own picture of Christ. Reese came to us as a baby, to be adopted, and to change our world. What a blessing we have been given.
After only 6 days, we already have a better idea and understanding of Christ's love for us. I had always been told that having your own children would make God's love and sacrifice more real. I would say that is true. Sure, we are in the honeymoon period right now, but we have already had a few rough spots. I know that it won't always be easy, but I know that I have been given everything that I need to love him the way God intended.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The Three Holder's
Reese arrived yesterday about 10:45am. Day one was pretty good. We had several visitors and we have learned three things about Reese: 1. He loves to be held 2. He loves other kids 3. He does not like riding in the car. Our best friend's son Isaac came to visit and he loved Isaac. He wouldn't stop watching Isaac and smiling at him. Isaac came bearing gifts. He brought an ornament, Reese's first Hot Wheels car, and Jeff Gordon sippy cups. (Isaac loves Jeff Gordon and said that he wanted to start Reese off right.) When the Clary's left, our neices Jordan and Gailey came by. Reese loved Gailey too. After all the visitors, we headed to a Christmas party.
After a rough ride home Reese was off to bed and he slept from 10pm until 6:30 am. This is not quite his normal 8-7, but I would say it was acceptable for day 1.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Doubly Blessed
We met Reese yesterday and I must say he is the sweetest, cutest baby boy ever! (I guess I could be a little biased.) I would share pictures, but unfortunately, I can't. My digital camera rarely leaves my side and I document everything in photos. Everything expect meeting my child.
When I tried to turn the camera on, it did absolutely nothing! I tired my regular tricks and nothing worked. Those darn rechargeable batteries must have been recharged one too many times. Have no fear we will be purchasing more TODAY!
It is an understatement to say that we immediately fell in love. We held him, played with him, and I even got to feed him. (Bryan was a little nervous about attempting that.) He is such a happy baby and has a wonderful disposition. I can hardly wait until Monday.
Not only did we get to meet Reese yesterday, his new cousin was welcomed into our world as well. My cousin Jamie had her baby around 6 pm last night. As if all this weren't blessing enough, Brooke and Chris got good news about Dillen. Still no travel date, but encouraging news. You can follow their journey here.
God is so good! What a Christmas this is going to be!
When I tried to turn the camera on, it did absolutely nothing! I tired my regular tricks and nothing worked. Those darn rechargeable batteries must have been recharged one too many times. Have no fear we will be purchasing more TODAY!
It is an understatement to say that we immediately fell in love. We held him, played with him, and I even got to feed him. (Bryan was a little nervous about attempting that.) He is such a happy baby and has a wonderful disposition. I can hardly wait until Monday.
Not only did we get to meet Reese yesterday, his new cousin was welcomed into our world as well. My cousin Jamie had her baby around 6 pm last night. As if all this weren't blessing enough, Brooke and Chris got good news about Dillen. Still no travel date, but encouraging news. You can follow their journey here.
God is so good! What a Christmas this is going to be!
Friday, December 19, 2008
If I had a little box
A few months ago I had a car full of small children. We were headed to a tailgate party and they were singing. One of the songs they sang went something like this:
If I had a little box to put the devil in. I'd take him out and stomp his face and put him back again.
I don't know that these are the correct words to the song, but this is how the children were singing it. Right now, I want to take Satan out of that box and stomp his face.
As I shared earlier in the week, God has opened a some huge doors for us lately. It is becoming more evident that He is at work because Satan has shown up! I know that Satan doesn't bother us when there is no threat to him. Please pray for us because he is trying hard right now.
Boy, I wish I had that box. I'd give him a good stomping and send him right back to that box.
If I had a little box to put the devil in. I'd take him out and stomp his face and put him back again.
I don't know that these are the correct words to the song, but this is how the children were singing it. Right now, I want to take Satan out of that box and stomp his face.
As I shared earlier in the week, God has opened a some huge doors for us lately. It is becoming more evident that He is at work because Satan has shown up! I know that Satan doesn't bother us when there is no threat to him. Please pray for us because he is trying hard right now.
Boy, I wish I had that box. I'd give him a good stomping and send him right back to that box.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tomorrow, tomorrow
Tomorrow, Tomorrow, we see him tomorrow. It's only a day away.
We get to go visit our Reese tomorrow for the first time. It is a little overwhelming to think that Monday we will be parents.
I am not promising pictures, though I will be taking some. We may not be able to post pictures while he is still a foster child, but trust as soon as possible, I will post them.
Pray for us. This ride is moving fast.
Tomorrow, tomorrow. It's only a day away.
We get to go visit our Reese tomorrow for the first time. It is a little overwhelming to think that Monday we will be parents.
I am not promising pictures, though I will be taking some. We may not be able to post pictures while he is still a foster child, but trust as soon as possible, I will post them.
Pray for us. This ride is moving fast.
Tomorrow, tomorrow. It's only a day away.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Out of the Box
We are getting closer everyday to bringing Reese home. I am excited and nervous. It is really hard for me to not feel like I am in control. Guess what, my little box is about to be rocked. I don't think that I feel like I'm in control for the next 18 years.
With that said, today's post will be on a much lighter note. Brooke sent me an email today with this survey attached. I thought I would post it here. I am going to change the directions a little and answer the questions about myself. I am including the original instructions in case you want to cut & paste and pass it on.
Instructions: Okay, this one is different - this is funny. YOU fill in the blanks about ME and send it back to ME. But FIRST, send a blank one out to all your friends, including me, so we can return the favor to you. Be honest. They're really SCARY to get back. It only takes a few minutes,so just do it! First send (forward) this survey to everyone you know to see how well he or she knows you. Second, hit 'reply' and fill this survey out about the person who sent it to you and send it back to them.
Where did we meet?
Take a stab at my middle name? Drennon
Do I smoke? No
Do I have lots of friends, lots of acquaintances, or small number of close friends? a lot of acquaintances with a small number close friends
Color of my eyes? Blue
How many siblings do I have? 3 (half brother, half sister, step sister)
What's one of my favorite things to do? Shop and making crafts
What's my favorite type music? praise and worship
What's my favorite sport? Basketball
What's my favorite color? Purple and silver
Am I shy or outgoing? Shy
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? Rules follower all the way
Any special talents? Dancing (tap, jazz, & swing)
What is my favorite family vacation spot? Charleston
If I could take the kids anywhere on vacation, where would I choose? Southern California
If you and I were stranded on a deserted island, what is one thing I would bring? camera
With that said, today's post will be on a much lighter note. Brooke sent me an email today with this survey attached. I thought I would post it here. I am going to change the directions a little and answer the questions about myself. I am including the original instructions in case you want to cut & paste and pass it on.
Instructions: Okay, this one is different - this is funny. YOU fill in the blanks about ME and send it back to ME. But FIRST, send a blank one out to all your friends, including me, so we can return the favor to you. Be honest. They're really SCARY to get back. It only takes a few minutes,so just do it! First send (forward) this survey to everyone you know to see how well he or she knows you. Second, hit 'reply' and fill this survey out about the person who sent it to you and send it back to them.
Where did we meet?
Take a stab at my middle name? Drennon
Do I smoke? No
Do I have lots of friends, lots of acquaintances, or small number of close friends? a lot of acquaintances with a small number close friends
Color of my eyes? Blue
How many siblings do I have? 3 (half brother, half sister, step sister)
What's one of my favorite things to do? Shop and making crafts
What's my favorite type music? praise and worship
What's my favorite sport? Basketball
What's my favorite color? Purple and silver
Am I shy or outgoing? Shy
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? Rules follower all the way
Any special talents? Dancing (tap, jazz, & swing)
What is my favorite family vacation spot? Charleston
If I could take the kids anywhere on vacation, where would I choose? Southern California
If you and I were stranded on a deserted island, what is one thing I would bring? camera
Monday, December 15, 2008
No Coincidence Here
God never ceases to amaze me! We got the long awaited call about our Little Buddy last week and now I can see His hand in answering another prayer. Over the weekend I contacted my parents and one of my sisters to let them know about Reese. This was a big step, because we are not really close to either of my parents or my siblings.
These strained relationships have been the subject of many prayers. I long to have a loving, healthy relationship with my parents. More so than that, I long to restore my relationship with my sister. She has held a very special place in my heart since the day she was born 22 years ago. For most of her teen years we were very close. The last few years have been different though.
Sunday afternoon, my phone rang and my sister's name was on the caller id. I quickly answered and hoped for the best. She began to ask a lot of questions about the baby. She seemed to know more information than I had shared with my family. I could hear her husband talking in the background and adding to her questions. After a minute or two of discussion, she told me that her sister-in-law is the foster mother to Reese.
Her sister-in-law had been talking to them about the baby leaving and she started putting the pieces together. The social worker had told the family that the baby would be going to a youth minister's family in Anderson County. I told my sister that we would be getting a six month old baby and it all fit together. My sister has spent a lot of time with the baby and had pictures that she shared with us. She and the foster parents were excited to know where he was going.
I have prayed for a long time about how to restore this relationship and this may be God's way of doing that. My sister seems to have grown attached to him. I was very concerned about my family's reaction to him. What a comfort to know that they already know and love him. I was concerned about feeling awkward dealing with strangers during the transition time. There are no strangers involved, so there is no need to feel awkward.
God is good and He is faithful! It is not often that I clearly see His hand in the midst of a situation. Usually I see these things when I look back. I have no doubt that I have seen it here! I am so excited to see how it all unfolds!
These strained relationships have been the subject of many prayers. I long to have a loving, healthy relationship with my parents. More so than that, I long to restore my relationship with my sister. She has held a very special place in my heart since the day she was born 22 years ago. For most of her teen years we were very close. The last few years have been different though.
Sunday afternoon, my phone rang and my sister's name was on the caller id. I quickly answered and hoped for the best. She began to ask a lot of questions about the baby. She seemed to know more information than I had shared with my family. I could hear her husband talking in the background and adding to her questions. After a minute or two of discussion, she told me that her sister-in-law is the foster mother to Reese.
Her sister-in-law had been talking to them about the baby leaving and she started putting the pieces together. The social worker had told the family that the baby would be going to a youth minister's family in Anderson County. I told my sister that we would be getting a six month old baby and it all fit together. My sister has spent a lot of time with the baby and had pictures that she shared with us. She and the foster parents were excited to know where he was going.
I have prayed for a long time about how to restore this relationship and this may be God's way of doing that. My sister seems to have grown attached to him. I was very concerned about my family's reaction to him. What a comfort to know that they already know and love him. I was concerned about feeling awkward dealing with strangers during the transition time. There are no strangers involved, so there is no need to feel awkward.
God is good and He is faithful! It is not often that I clearly see His hand in the midst of a situation. Usually I see these things when I look back. I have no doubt that I have seen it here! I am so excited to see how it all unfolds!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
My hands are full
So I have been really excited and a little nervous about bringing our baby home. He is 6 months old, so he is probably starting to move around on his on. He will soon be trying to walk and crawl. We have never experienced this before, so I don't know what things in my house will have to change. (Plenty, I'm sure!)
Something happened yesterday that proved to me that my hands are going to be full. We have had our Yorkie, Belle, since 2002. She is a great dog and has good manners. Occasionally she has an accident in the house, but otherwise we have no complaints. Bryan has started sneaking her food occasionally. I am not happy about this because I don't want her begging for food and I don't want to have to clean up the mess when her stomach gets upset. I guess she has learned the smells of the things she likes.
A day or two ago Bryan ate chicken wings and put the bones in the trash. I was in the nursery working on somethings yesterday and heard something cracking. It sounded like teeth breaking. Bryan was asleep on the couch, so I began looking for the dog. I found her under the kitchen table eating one of Bryan's chicken bones. She had gotten the bone out of the trash and was living it up. I got her away from the bone and picked it up with a paper towel and threw it away. She kept migrating back to the trash and sniffing the bag (the bag was sitting in the floor).
We kept fussing at her to get her away from the trash and I gave her a treat thinking it would distract her. Boy was I wrong! When we left for the ball game we put her in her kennel and when we returned we let her out and started getting ready for bed. I came into the living room and saw Belle walking away from the trash can with the paper towel and chicken bone hanging out of her mouth. I took it away from her and put the trash bag where she couldn't get to it.
I will give her credit for being neat about it. She did not pull out a single other thing. Had she had enough time to eat the whole bone, we would have never known she had been in the trash. Thanks for using your manners Belle! Unfortunately, I think this is a small sign of the craziness to come.
Something happened yesterday that proved to me that my hands are going to be full. We have had our Yorkie, Belle, since 2002. She is a great dog and has good manners. Occasionally she has an accident in the house, but otherwise we have no complaints. Bryan has started sneaking her food occasionally. I am not happy about this because I don't want her begging for food and I don't want to have to clean up the mess when her stomach gets upset. I guess she has learned the smells of the things she likes.
A day or two ago Bryan ate chicken wings and put the bones in the trash. I was in the nursery working on somethings yesterday and heard something cracking. It sounded like teeth breaking. Bryan was asleep on the couch, so I began looking for the dog. I found her under the kitchen table eating one of Bryan's chicken bones. She had gotten the bone out of the trash and was living it up. I got her away from the bone and picked it up with a paper towel and threw it away. She kept migrating back to the trash and sniffing the bag (the bag was sitting in the floor).
We kept fussing at her to get her away from the trash and I gave her a treat thinking it would distract her. Boy was I wrong! When we left for the ball game we put her in her kennel and when we returned we let her out and started getting ready for bed. I came into the living room and saw Belle walking away from the trash can with the paper towel and chicken bone hanging out of her mouth. I took it away from her and put the trash bag where she couldn't get to it.
I will give her credit for being neat about it. She did not pull out a single other thing. Had she had enough time to eat the whole bone, we would have never known she had been in the trash. Thanks for using your manners Belle! Unfortunately, I think this is a small sign of the craziness to come.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Oh Happy Day!
It is official. As of December 22nd we will no longer be a family of two. We will be picking up our 6 month old baby boy from his foster parents on the 22nd. Santa is coming early!
It is funny to me how God works. He certainly has a sense of humor. If you are in the upstate of SC you most likely saw the news story about the newborn dropped off at a fire department in Spartanburg. When I saw this story Monday afternoon, something inside of me changed. I sincerely knew that DSS was going to call me to come get this child. I have not ever felt like that with any other local story. I didn't tell anyone and I went on about my normal day.
Tuesday morning I was wrapping presents. We had purchased a couple of things for the baby while they were on sale with the intention of putting them away until that time. As I sat there wrapping I couldn't get past the thought that I needed to wrap those baby items also. In my mind, I was thinking "just in case". Soon after that the noon news came on and the first story was about that baby. Again, I couldn't stop thinking that they were going to call me about this baby.
Within 5 minutes the phone rang. The caller ID said State of SC. I almost didn't answer. (Our mortgage is through the sate and we get recorded calls in reference to this around the time that it is due.) I realized that this was a different number than usual, an 864 number rather than 803. On the other end was a voice that I recognized as our family worker. She asked if I was sitting down and gave me the news. (She was actually calling about a different child, but none the less, God was preparing my heart for the call.)
I was completely overwhelmed and didn't know what to say. I couldn't think clearly. It was all so sudden. We have waited for so long for that call, that I guess I never really expected it to come. After a few phone calls back and forth, we made an appointment to come in and talk with them about the baby. Yesterday at 9:00am we met with a couple of ladies and they gave us a lot of information. Bryan and I talked, prayed, and talked with a few trusted friends. We talked a little more this morning and made the call.
Next Friday we will have the opportunity to meet our Little Buddy! Although he won't be able to come home with us that day, I am looking forward to it. Don't worry, there will be plenty of pictures!
We plan to name him Reese. This won't be his legal name for now, but as soon as we can legally change it he will be Reese Holder. As for his story, we would like to keep that private for now. I am sure that you can understand.
It is funny to me how God works. He certainly has a sense of humor. If you are in the upstate of SC you most likely saw the news story about the newborn dropped off at a fire department in Spartanburg. When I saw this story Monday afternoon, something inside of me changed. I sincerely knew that DSS was going to call me to come get this child. I have not ever felt like that with any other local story. I didn't tell anyone and I went on about my normal day.
Tuesday morning I was wrapping presents. We had purchased a couple of things for the baby while they were on sale with the intention of putting them away until that time. As I sat there wrapping I couldn't get past the thought that I needed to wrap those baby items also. In my mind, I was thinking "just in case". Soon after that the noon news came on and the first story was about that baby. Again, I couldn't stop thinking that they were going to call me about this baby.
Within 5 minutes the phone rang. The caller ID said State of SC. I almost didn't answer. (Our mortgage is through the sate and we get recorded calls in reference to this around the time that it is due.) I realized that this was a different number than usual, an 864 number rather than 803. On the other end was a voice that I recognized as our family worker. She asked if I was sitting down and gave me the news. (She was actually calling about a different child, but none the less, God was preparing my heart for the call.)
I was completely overwhelmed and didn't know what to say. I couldn't think clearly. It was all so sudden. We have waited for so long for that call, that I guess I never really expected it to come. After a few phone calls back and forth, we made an appointment to come in and talk with them about the baby. Yesterday at 9:00am we met with a couple of ladies and they gave us a lot of information. Bryan and I talked, prayed, and talked with a few trusted friends. We talked a little more this morning and made the call.
Next Friday we will have the opportunity to meet our Little Buddy! Although he won't be able to come home with us that day, I am looking forward to it. Don't worry, there will be plenty of pictures!
We plan to name him Reese. This won't be his legal name for now, but as soon as we can legally change it he will be Reese Holder. As for his story, we would like to keep that private for now. I am sure that you can understand.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Family update
Tuesday:
Please continue to pray for my father-in-law. He is in a lot of pain and the doctors are concerned about infection and pneumonia. Bryan talked with a nurse today and they are not as optimistic as before. His right shoulder is crushed and his right knee is cracked. Initially they told us that these would be replaced, now they are saying that they may not be able to do that. This will limit his use of the joints. Weldon was very disappointed because he still works 50-60 hours a week and is always working on a project at one of our houses.
Thursday:
Bryan and I both visited Weldon today and he seemed to have accepted the idea of limited use of his joints. I showed him my arm, in an attempt to amuse him, because I have limited use of my right arm as well. This is due to crushing my elbow and having it reconstructed. He was having a hard time keeping his breathing at the pace that the nurses wanted it. Personally, I would have a hard time with that due to my asthma. Weldon has smoked for years, so this is constantly a problem. I got very frustrated with the monitor so I know he has to be completely fed up with it. We are afraid that he may have developed pneumonia now. Please pray!!!
Please continue to pray for my father-in-law. He is in a lot of pain and the doctors are concerned about infection and pneumonia. Bryan talked with a nurse today and they are not as optimistic as before. His right shoulder is crushed and his right knee is cracked. Initially they told us that these would be replaced, now they are saying that they may not be able to do that. This will limit his use of the joints. Weldon was very disappointed because he still works 50-60 hours a week and is always working on a project at one of our houses.
Thursday:
Bryan and I both visited Weldon today and he seemed to have accepted the idea of limited use of his joints. I showed him my arm, in an attempt to amuse him, because I have limited use of my right arm as well. This is due to crushing my elbow and having it reconstructed. He was having a hard time keeping his breathing at the pace that the nurses wanted it. Personally, I would have a hard time with that due to my asthma. Weldon has smoked for years, so this is constantly a problem. I got very frustrated with the monitor so I know he has to be completely fed up with it. We are afraid that he may have developed pneumonia now. Please pray!!!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Meeting the Right Needs Part 2
"It is one thing to come and talk about things such as human rights, religion, and democracy. This only builds a foundation; people must have their needs met. What do rights and democracy mean on an empty stomach? People listen better when their stomachs are full and their basic needs are met." -President Kagame of Rwanda.
"Today it is very fashionable to talk about the poor, but it is not fashionable to talk with them." -Mother Theresa
Two years ago, Bryan and I got involved with a ministry in Memphis, TN. Brinkley Heights Church sits in the Binghampton area of Memphis. This is one of the roughest, most crime laden areas of Memphis. As the crime and poverty rates grew in the area, rather than move to a safer, more attractive area, they embraced the community. They have made it their mission to take back the neighborhood and enable the people of that community to make a difference.
The people of Brinkley Heights were the first ones I thought of when I read the quotes above. Yes, they know that Christ is the answer for their community, but they also know that they can't just walk up to the crack houses or the substandard housing developments and shove Jesus down people's throats. These people are an incredible example to anyone wanting to truly make a difference in their community.
Brinkley Heights has food ministries, clothing ministries, and educational ministries (among other things). The people of Brinkley Heights go to their neighbors and offer them groceries and shoes for their children. They offer after school tutoring and even private schooling for the children. They offer a free safe place for children, teens, and even adults to play sports. They offer them free summer child care that includes free food for the children in their very own neighborhoods.
When they become aware of needs, they bring the family to the ministry center, get their information, give them the needed food or clothes, offer them budgeting and financial planning help, and share the gospel with them. They don't walk in the door and get preached to, they get what they need and before they leave they are enabled to help themselves, and then they are prayed for and the gospel is presented. They know that most of these people will never walk through the doors of their church on a Sunday morning or Wednesday night and they don't hesitate to meet their needs. It is not about growing the numbers of the church, but meeting the physical needs of the community.
These people understand that when the physical needs are met, the people are seeing Jesus in action. They are presenting the gospel just as Jesus would have. Just as people couldn't walk away and not be changed in some way after meeting Jesus, neither can the people of Memphis. It takes a lot of faith and courage to reach out to drug dealers and gang members and the people of Brinkley Heights do it everyday. They don't discriminate, they don't judge, they just meet their needs. They are filling stomachs and meeting needs. They aren't talking about the poor, they are talking to them. They are taking back their neighborhood!
"Today it is very fashionable to talk about the poor, but it is not fashionable to talk with them." -Mother Theresa
Two years ago, Bryan and I got involved with a ministry in Memphis, TN. Brinkley Heights Church sits in the Binghampton area of Memphis. This is one of the roughest, most crime laden areas of Memphis. As the crime and poverty rates grew in the area, rather than move to a safer, more attractive area, they embraced the community. They have made it their mission to take back the neighborhood and enable the people of that community to make a difference.
The people of Brinkley Heights were the first ones I thought of when I read the quotes above. Yes, they know that Christ is the answer for their community, but they also know that they can't just walk up to the crack houses or the substandard housing developments and shove Jesus down people's throats. These people are an incredible example to anyone wanting to truly make a difference in their community.
Brinkley Heights has food ministries, clothing ministries, and educational ministries (among other things). The people of Brinkley Heights go to their neighbors and offer them groceries and shoes for their children. They offer after school tutoring and even private schooling for the children. They offer a free safe place for children, teens, and even adults to play sports. They offer them free summer child care that includes free food for the children in their very own neighborhoods.
When they become aware of needs, they bring the family to the ministry center, get their information, give them the needed food or clothes, offer them budgeting and financial planning help, and share the gospel with them. They don't walk in the door and get preached to, they get what they need and before they leave they are enabled to help themselves, and then they are prayed for and the gospel is presented. They know that most of these people will never walk through the doors of their church on a Sunday morning or Wednesday night and they don't hesitate to meet their needs. It is not about growing the numbers of the church, but meeting the physical needs of the community.
These people understand that when the physical needs are met, the people are seeing Jesus in action. They are presenting the gospel just as Jesus would have. Just as people couldn't walk away and not be changed in some way after meeting Jesus, neither can the people of Memphis. It takes a lot of faith and courage to reach out to drug dealers and gang members and the people of Brinkley Heights do it everyday. They don't discriminate, they don't judge, they just meet their needs. They are filling stomachs and meeting needs. They aren't talking about the poor, they are talking to them. They are taking back their neighborhood!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Meeting the right needs Part 1
"It is one thing to come and talk about things such as human rights, religion, and democracy. This only builds a foundation; people must have their needs met. What do rights and democracy mean on an empty stomach? People listen better when their stomachs are full and their basic needs are met." -President Kagame of Rwanda.
"Today it is very fashionable to talk about the poor, but it is not fashionable to talk with them."
-Mother Theresa
Bryan has said many times that in the Bible Christ always met physical needs before he tackled spiritual needs. As we stood by Weldon's bed in the trauma unit, he told Bryan that he was afraid that he was going to meet his maker that day. This hit Bryan very hard. He has always been concerned about his dad's salvation. He feels that he has accepted Christ, but he has never out right asked. In the car driving away, Bryan asked me how he could approach that question.
We talked about waiting until he is a little more stable. Right now he is in tremendous pain and is awaiting several surgeries to reconstruct and/or set the numerous crushed and broken bones. The quote from President Kagame reassures me of this decision. Until he is physically healing, he won't fully realize the need for spiritual healing.
Though I found this quote when reading about adoption and missions, God has shown me how to apply it to our most current situation. I want to share more thoughts on this later this week. For now, please pray for Weldon. He has a long tough road ahead of him as he recovers. Also, pray for Bryan as he seeks God's wisdom and timing.
*Quotes from Seeds of Change
"Today it is very fashionable to talk about the poor, but it is not fashionable to talk with them."
-Mother Theresa
Bryan has said many times that in the Bible Christ always met physical needs before he tackled spiritual needs. As we stood by Weldon's bed in the trauma unit, he told Bryan that he was afraid that he was going to meet his maker that day. This hit Bryan very hard. He has always been concerned about his dad's salvation. He feels that he has accepted Christ, but he has never out right asked. In the car driving away, Bryan asked me how he could approach that question.
We talked about waiting until he is a little more stable. Right now he is in tremendous pain and is awaiting several surgeries to reconstruct and/or set the numerous crushed and broken bones. The quote from President Kagame reassures me of this decision. Until he is physically healing, he won't fully realize the need for spiritual healing.
Though I found this quote when reading about adoption and missions, God has shown me how to apply it to our most current situation. I want to share more thoughts on this later this week. For now, please pray for Weldon. He has a long tough road ahead of him as he recovers. Also, pray for Bryan as he seeks God's wisdom and timing.
*Quotes from Seeds of Change
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Change of Plans
Today (Friday) did not go at all as I had planned. My plan was to spend my morning and afternoon making my treats for our Christmas parties, bathe the dog, and get dressed up for the party. Bryan's staff party was tonight and mine is tomorrow night. Bryan left to eat lunch with a friend and I began the treat making.
I was beginning to wrap up the baking with the intention of taking my shower and getting dressed to be at the church by 5:00. Still in my pajamas, the phone rang at 2:00 and with my chocolate covered fingers I answered. On the other end Bryan sounded very upset. He had just received the call that his dad had been hit head on. He was headed to the scene.
I immediately got the chocolate off my fingers, pulled out some clothes, texted my best friend, and jumped in the shower. After brushing my teeth and throwing on clothes I headed to the scene myself. This was not the kind of accident that you want to arrive at. It was not one of those dented bumper, missing mirror kind of things. The fireman standing guard seemed to think that he was not going to let me walk up to the scene. Well, he thought wrong.
As I approached I saw Bryan and Sammy. Sammy, Bryan's best friend, had beat us both there. Weldon had already been cut out of the van and transported to the hospital. The other man had been transported as well. We observed the scene and tried to determine what may have happened. After taking a few pictures we left and headed to the hospital. This is where we spent the next several hours.
God is good! Weldon does not appear to be seriously injured nor does the other man. The van Weldon was driving and the BMW that hit him were both totally destroyed, so we really didn't know what to expect. The other man has minor injuries. Weldon will have a long road ahead due to the amount of reconstructive surgery he will under go. His right shoulder, hip, and knee were crushed. His right lower leg may be broken as well. There are broken ribs which are causing some breathing problems.
The surgeries will begin tomorrow morning. We are praying for things to go smoothly and for protection from pneumonia. Please join us in praying!
I was beginning to wrap up the baking with the intention of taking my shower and getting dressed to be at the church by 5:00. Still in my pajamas, the phone rang at 2:00 and with my chocolate covered fingers I answered. On the other end Bryan sounded very upset. He had just received the call that his dad had been hit head on. He was headed to the scene.
I immediately got the chocolate off my fingers, pulled out some clothes, texted my best friend, and jumped in the shower. After brushing my teeth and throwing on clothes I headed to the scene myself. This was not the kind of accident that you want to arrive at. It was not one of those dented bumper, missing mirror kind of things. The fireman standing guard seemed to think that he was not going to let me walk up to the scene. Well, he thought wrong.
As I approached I saw Bryan and Sammy. Sammy, Bryan's best friend, had beat us both there. Weldon had already been cut out of the van and transported to the hospital. The other man had been transported as well. We observed the scene and tried to determine what may have happened. After taking a few pictures we left and headed to the hospital. This is where we spent the next several hours.
God is good! Weldon does not appear to be seriously injured nor does the other man. The van Weldon was driving and the BMW that hit him were both totally destroyed, so we really didn't know what to expect. The other man has minor injuries. Weldon will have a long road ahead due to the amount of reconstructive surgery he will under go. His right shoulder, hip, and knee were crushed. His right lower leg may be broken as well. There are broken ribs which are causing some breathing problems.
The surgeries will begin tomorrow morning. We are praying for things to go smoothly and for protection from pneumonia. Please join us in praying!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Visiting the archeologist
The week of Thanksgiving I over heard one of our students talking to his trainer. The day before he had been to the dentist. Here is how the conversation went...
Student- "Yesterday I went to the dentist and now I have to visit the archaeologist."
Trainer- with a completely straight face "the archaeologist? what are you visiting the archaeologist for?"
Student- "For braces"
Trainer- again with a completely straight face "the orthodontist?"
Student- "Yeah, the orthodontist."
Brooke & Crystal- Snickering under our breathe, trying VERY hard not to burst out laughing.
Bill Cosby was right. Kids say the darnedest things.
Student- "Yesterday I went to the dentist and now I have to visit the archaeologist."
Trainer- with a completely straight face "the archaeologist? what are you visiting the archaeologist for?"
Student- "For braces"
Trainer- again with a completely straight face "the orthodontist?"
Student- "Yeah, the orthodontist."
Brooke & Crystal- Snickering under our breathe, trying VERY hard not to burst out laughing.
Bill Cosby was right. Kids say the darnedest things.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Product Review
Friday night we had a family get together with Bryan's family. At some point in the night, my 7 year old niece got into my mother in laws purse and found her lipstick. Her lipstick of choice: Cover Girl's Outlast All Day Color. The color: bright red.
When I saw Gailey, the first thing that I noticed was the bright red lips. Think about those old ladies who you see nothing but red lips coming and that is the color she was wearing. My mother in law swears by this lipstick. She says that she eats off every other kind.
Well, let me say that their claims are true. It doesn't wear off. It doesn't rub off and it doesn't wash off. When Gailey arrived at my house Saturday afternoon, the lipstick was as red as when she applied it Friday. Even after baking and sampling all of our goods, the lipstick still had not come off or faded. My sister in law had asked me to try to remove it with Vaseline, but I forgot. Sorry Tracy!
So, if you are looking for some long wearing lipstick... you may have found your winner.
When I saw Gailey, the first thing that I noticed was the bright red lips. Think about those old ladies who you see nothing but red lips coming and that is the color she was wearing. My mother in law swears by this lipstick. She says that she eats off every other kind.
Well, let me say that their claims are true. It doesn't wear off. It doesn't rub off and it doesn't wash off. When Gailey arrived at my house Saturday afternoon, the lipstick was as red as when she applied it Friday. Even after baking and sampling all of our goods, the lipstick still had not come off or faded. My sister in law had asked me to try to remove it with Vaseline, but I forgot. Sorry Tracy!
So, if you are looking for some long wearing lipstick... you may have found your winner.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Me Being Transparent
Productivity seems to be my enemy lately. It seems like I get lazier and lazier everyday and I hate it! I would love to chalk it up to the natural aging process, but I am only 30 not 80. Honestly, sometimes I have no motivation to be productive. I would rather sit and watch TV or play computer games than anything else. I HATE, let me repeat, HATE that. There isn't enough time to waste.
Let me share just a bit of the evidence that I have become down right lazy. My house is always a wreck (really unnerving since I am a neat freak), there are about 6 or 8 unfinished projects at home (some have been unfinished for months), my quiet time is almost non existent, I have sat in one adult service since the beginning of Oct, and my prayer life stinks (it has become simply a wish list rather than a conversation).
It makes me sick to think of all the time that I waste everyday. If nothing else I could be exercising. That would help with my constant whining about my weight gain. Since I am so eager to sit on my behind, I could at least be reading my Bible or praying.
I know that this is no one's fault but my own. For several years I have longed for an accountability partner. I really do desire to have someone ask me the tough questions and challenge me. I need that. I desperately need that. At different times I have prayed for that and it never seems to happen. It is not clear to me if I am missing something, or if God is telling me to wait.
Being introverted, I think people think that I don't want to be approached. They may think that everything is ok and that I would let them know if I needed something. Unfortunately, that couldn't be more false. I am very independent and believe that I always have to appear strong and in control. This makes it nearly impossible for me to approach someone and be totally transparent about what is going on in my world. The fact that there is the holy stigma of a pastor's wife doesn't help either. I feel trapped!
Thankfully, I love to write and have always been able to express things on paper (or a computer screen) that I could never say. Usually, that never goes any further than the journal on my nightstand. This a huge step for me. Not only am I being transparent, I am putting it out there so that anyone with Internet access can read it (or at least the 20 or 30 people that read this blog regularly).
Some friends of ours just started a life group for us. They wanted to love on us. We have met only once due to the holidays, but we will meet this week. The group consists of Bryan and I and two other couples. One of these couples we have been close with for several years (we were in each others weddings) and the other couple we have known for about a year. There may be others that join us, but it is fine if they don't. I am comfortable with these girls and feel like I will be able to connect with them. Hopefully, this is that accountability that I have been praying for and I will find my motivation.
Please pray for me. I really do want to get past this. I want out of this season of life and I never want to be back here again. This is one season that I won't miss.
Let me share just a bit of the evidence that I have become down right lazy. My house is always a wreck (really unnerving since I am a neat freak), there are about 6 or 8 unfinished projects at home (some have been unfinished for months), my quiet time is almost non existent, I have sat in one adult service since the beginning of Oct, and my prayer life stinks (it has become simply a wish list rather than a conversation).
It makes me sick to think of all the time that I waste everyday. If nothing else I could be exercising. That would help with my constant whining about my weight gain. Since I am so eager to sit on my behind, I could at least be reading my Bible or praying.
I know that this is no one's fault but my own. For several years I have longed for an accountability partner. I really do desire to have someone ask me the tough questions and challenge me. I need that. I desperately need that. At different times I have prayed for that and it never seems to happen. It is not clear to me if I am missing something, or if God is telling me to wait.
Being introverted, I think people think that I don't want to be approached. They may think that everything is ok and that I would let them know if I needed something. Unfortunately, that couldn't be more false. I am very independent and believe that I always have to appear strong and in control. This makes it nearly impossible for me to approach someone and be totally transparent about what is going on in my world. The fact that there is the holy stigma of a pastor's wife doesn't help either. I feel trapped!
Thankfully, I love to write and have always been able to express things on paper (or a computer screen) that I could never say. Usually, that never goes any further than the journal on my nightstand. This a huge step for me. Not only am I being transparent, I am putting it out there so that anyone with Internet access can read it (or at least the 20 or 30 people that read this blog regularly).
Some friends of ours just started a life group for us. They wanted to love on us. We have met only once due to the holidays, but we will meet this week. The group consists of Bryan and I and two other couples. One of these couples we have been close with for several years (we were in each others weddings) and the other couple we have known for about a year. There may be others that join us, but it is fine if they don't. I am comfortable with these girls and feel like I will be able to connect with them. Hopefully, this is that accountability that I have been praying for and I will find my motivation.
Please pray for me. I really do want to get past this. I want out of this season of life and I never want to be back here again. This is one season that I won't miss.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Party Time
Saturday I hosted a Christmas party. My seven year old niece and my 11 year old twin cousins joined me for a day of holiday fun. We made cupcakes, baked cookies, decorated Christmas Ornaments, and we made a few other treats. I was really excited about this since I don't have any little ones of my own to share the fun with and the fact that my husband does not find this fun at all. As with anything, I had a plan and thought that I had it all figured out. No drama and no surprises.
Well, as usual, that is not exactly how it went. There were no major accidents, but I did learn somethings. Mostly, how different children can be, even twins.
The twins arrived first and I noticed as they edged from the steps to the door that someone had brought a big pile of mud with them. This was an unwelcome guest! My aunt also noticed the mud and told the girls to take off their shoes. One of the twins replied, "my shoes are clean, it is not me." She never even looked at the shoes. Yes, she was the culprit. She was sitting on my couch and leaned over to reach my computer when I saw the mud covering her shoes. The shoes that were now on my couch.
As you can imagine, I was a little on edge. I kept staring at the shoes just waiting for that one wrong move. Thankfully, there were no traces of mud on my slipcover. My niece then arrived and we moved into the kitchen. The girls put on the aprons that I had bought for them at IKEA (super cute!) and we began to make cupcakes.
I walked the girls through the steps and helped them measure everything out. They did so well and were so nice to each other. All three of them are very well behaved and considerate. As we were finishing up the cupcakes, one of the twins asked if she could start on the cookies. I opened the cook book to the right page and put some of the necessities out for her.
Baking Lesson #1: Follow the directions. All the directions including the order of ingredients.
All of the ingredients were measured correctly and promptly put into the mixing bowl. There was no mixing in between. That had to be the grainiest cookie mix ever. The consistency was so off that I wouldn't even consider it dough. The goo was scooped out and onto cookie sheets. These were the only flat cookies that I have ever baked. They spread out, but not up.
Baking Lesson #2: Butter Crisco is not a substitute for regular Crisco.
As I pulled out the ingredients for the icing, I noticed that the pre-measured Crisco cup was actually butter flavored. After opening it, I also noticed that the consistency of it was beginning to change. That was the grossest icing ever. Even the kids didn't want any.
Baking Lesson (and life lesson) #3: Never give kids a meat tenderizer.
We were making peppermint brickle which required broken peppermints. I put the mints in a ziploc bag and pulled out the rolling pin. (Just as the recipe said.) You are supposed to use the rolling pin to smash the mints. I don't know if the girls just weren't forceful enough or if this just doesn't work. After thinking about it for a moment, I decided to pull out the meat tenderizer and let them use it like a hammer. The good news is that it worked and we had smashed mints. The bad news is my kitchen table has some awesome texture to it now. I never even thought about that.
Baking Lesson #4: Don't just explain, DEMONSTRATE!
Once the cupcakes had cooled and the icing was mixed I put a plate out in front of each of the girls. Their cupcakes were placed on the plate with a spreader for the icing. I also put a few cans of different sprinkles on the table. The idea was for the girls to ice the cupcake and place it back on the plate and shake the sprinkles over the plate. Two of the girls did just that. One of the twins however, did not. The muddy twin chose to hold her cupcake away from the table and sprinkled right onto the floor. I then pointed out what the plate was for and she continued to shake over the floor.
All in all, it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed sharing the day with the girls. I learned a lot! As crazy as it was, I think we will try again. I even promised the girls that they could come back during Christmas break.
Well, as usual, that is not exactly how it went. There were no major accidents, but I did learn somethings. Mostly, how different children can be, even twins.
The twins arrived first and I noticed as they edged from the steps to the door that someone had brought a big pile of mud with them. This was an unwelcome guest! My aunt also noticed the mud and told the girls to take off their shoes. One of the twins replied, "my shoes are clean, it is not me." She never even looked at the shoes. Yes, she was the culprit. She was sitting on my couch and leaned over to reach my computer when I saw the mud covering her shoes. The shoes that were now on my couch.
As you can imagine, I was a little on edge. I kept staring at the shoes just waiting for that one wrong move. Thankfully, there were no traces of mud on my slipcover. My niece then arrived and we moved into the kitchen. The girls put on the aprons that I had bought for them at IKEA (super cute!) and we began to make cupcakes.
I walked the girls through the steps and helped them measure everything out. They did so well and were so nice to each other. All three of them are very well behaved and considerate. As we were finishing up the cupcakes, one of the twins asked if she could start on the cookies. I opened the cook book to the right page and put some of the necessities out for her.
Baking Lesson #1: Follow the directions. All the directions including the order of ingredients.
All of the ingredients were measured correctly and promptly put into the mixing bowl. There was no mixing in between. That had to be the grainiest cookie mix ever. The consistency was so off that I wouldn't even consider it dough. The goo was scooped out and onto cookie sheets. These were the only flat cookies that I have ever baked. They spread out, but not up.
Baking Lesson #2: Butter Crisco is not a substitute for regular Crisco.
As I pulled out the ingredients for the icing, I noticed that the pre-measured Crisco cup was actually butter flavored. After opening it, I also noticed that the consistency of it was beginning to change. That was the grossest icing ever. Even the kids didn't want any.
Baking Lesson (and life lesson) #3: Never give kids a meat tenderizer.
We were making peppermint brickle which required broken peppermints. I put the mints in a ziploc bag and pulled out the rolling pin. (Just as the recipe said.) You are supposed to use the rolling pin to smash the mints. I don't know if the girls just weren't forceful enough or if this just doesn't work. After thinking about it for a moment, I decided to pull out the meat tenderizer and let them use it like a hammer. The good news is that it worked and we had smashed mints. The bad news is my kitchen table has some awesome texture to it now. I never even thought about that.
Baking Lesson #4: Don't just explain, DEMONSTRATE!
Once the cupcakes had cooled and the icing was mixed I put a plate out in front of each of the girls. Their cupcakes were placed on the plate with a spreader for the icing. I also put a few cans of different sprinkles on the table. The idea was for the girls to ice the cupcake and place it back on the plate and shake the sprinkles over the plate. Two of the girls did just that. One of the twins however, did not. The muddy twin chose to hold her cupcake away from the table and sprinkled right onto the floor. I then pointed out what the plate was for and she continued to shake over the floor.
All in all, it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed sharing the day with the girls. I learned a lot! As crazy as it was, I think we will try again. I even promised the girls that they could come back during Christmas break.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Hidden Treasures
Adoption is a calling. Orphan care is a command. The Lord tells us in several scriptures that caring for orphans is the responsibility of Christians. There are a lot of ways to care for orphans, adoption is not the only way. Everyone can support orphans, but not everyone can adopt. As I continue reading Seeds of Change, some scriptures have taken on a new meaning to me.
Isaiah 45:3 And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness-secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.
He calls us all by name, even orphans. He calls us by name when He calls us to Himself. He calls us by name when He calls us to care for orphans. He called Bryan and I by name and when He called us to join Him in the miracle of adoption. One evening in my car at a red light beside Concord Baptist Church, He clearly spoke to me and called me into this journey. It was a few years later, but sitting in a chair at Marathon, He clearly spoke to Bryan and he joined me on this journey.
Luke 12:48 From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded. And from the one trusted with much, much more will be expected.
He has given us so much, but as the scripture says, much has been demanded of us. At this point in our journey, we have had lengthy paperwork, inspections, and interviews demanded of us. We have also had patience demanded of us. It has been demanded that I give up control and take a back seat to God. God has trusted us to join Him on this journey and to follow His leading along the way. We know that this is just the beginning of the expectations and demands. It is also the beginning of the gifts.
We know that He is with us on this journey and we have many hidden treasures yet to come. I am most looking forward to the day I hold my hidden treasure in my arms!
Isaiah 45:3 And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness-secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.
He calls us all by name, even orphans. He calls us by name when He calls us to Himself. He calls us by name when He calls us to care for orphans. He called Bryan and I by name and when He called us to join Him in the miracle of adoption. One evening in my car at a red light beside Concord Baptist Church, He clearly spoke to me and called me into this journey. It was a few years later, but sitting in a chair at Marathon, He clearly spoke to Bryan and he joined me on this journey.
Luke 12:48 From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded. And from the one trusted with much, much more will be expected.
He has given us so much, but as the scripture says, much has been demanded of us. At this point in our journey, we have had lengthy paperwork, inspections, and interviews demanded of us. We have also had patience demanded of us. It has been demanded that I give up control and take a back seat to God. God has trusted us to join Him on this journey and to follow His leading along the way. We know that this is just the beginning of the expectations and demands. It is also the beginning of the gifts.
We know that He is with us on this journey and we have many hidden treasures yet to come. I am most looking forward to the day I hold my hidden treasure in my arms!
I'm Rich!
No, I didn't win the lottery, I didn't receive an inheritance, and I didn't finally land that awesome movie role. So how did I become rich? The truth is I always have been. Our pastor, Eddie Cox, has been doing a series called How To Be Rich. Once you put things in the right perspective, you realize that we are all rich. Eddie said several times that rich people go out places to eat. They look at a list of choices and tell someone else what to cook for them. When the food is cooked, someone else serves it to them. Honestly, how many times this week or month have you eaten out? That is just one mark of wealth.
We are rich in so many other ways too. Today, as I sat around observing my family, I saw many more riches. The house, the food, the warmth, our nice clothes, our gadgets, our love, and most importantly, our memories. Looking at my cousin Dustin and his bushy red beard reminded me of all the times that he reassured me that there was a guy out there for me. There was no need to lower my standards. I thought of the major spanking (this probably qualified as a whooping) that I got for biting him. This was one of the many valuable lessons he helped me learn about dealing with people that frustrate or aggravate you.
I sat by my cousin Brant at the counter and thought of all the times he has been a shoulder to lean on and a hand to hold. Especially the day we sat in the funeral home making the arrangements for my Granddaddy's funeral. It goes without saying that I will never forget all the pushing to meet his youth pastor who happens to now be my husband. Probably the most special memory is walking down the aisle at my wedding and seeing him standing there at the altar when he was supposed to be in Cape Cod.
Where do I start with my Grandma? There are not many memories that she is not a part of. She is an incredible woman and has done so much for me. I love her more than I could ever explain and I will never be able to thank her enough.
It was such a blessing to walk into my aunt and uncle's house and see how wonderful he looks. He has been struggling with pancreatic cancer for couple of years. To think of all the pop tarts they fed me as a kid, all the Easter eggs I died at their house, the emergency room visits, and all the seventeen magazines read is a little overwhelming.
I will sum it up in saying that I am blessed! Many would look at my life and my family situation and wonder how I feel blessed. God has been so good to me. Though my parents are not a part of my life (and haven't been for most of my life), I have the best family ever. They love me and have made every effort to give me the things that I need and show me how to love. They have been Jesus to me. I am much more than blessed, I am RICH!!!
We are rich in so many other ways too. Today, as I sat around observing my family, I saw many more riches. The house, the food, the warmth, our nice clothes, our gadgets, our love, and most importantly, our memories. Looking at my cousin Dustin and his bushy red beard reminded me of all the times that he reassured me that there was a guy out there for me. There was no need to lower my standards. I thought of the major spanking (this probably qualified as a whooping) that I got for biting him. This was one of the many valuable lessons he helped me learn about dealing with people that frustrate or aggravate you.
I sat by my cousin Brant at the counter and thought of all the times he has been a shoulder to lean on and a hand to hold. Especially the day we sat in the funeral home making the arrangements for my Granddaddy's funeral. It goes without saying that I will never forget all the pushing to meet his youth pastor who happens to now be my husband. Probably the most special memory is walking down the aisle at my wedding and seeing him standing there at the altar when he was supposed to be in Cape Cod.
Where do I start with my Grandma? There are not many memories that she is not a part of. She is an incredible woman and has done so much for me. I love her more than I could ever explain and I will never be able to thank her enough.
It was such a blessing to walk into my aunt and uncle's house and see how wonderful he looks. He has been struggling with pancreatic cancer for couple of years. To think of all the pop tarts they fed me as a kid, all the Easter eggs I died at their house, the emergency room visits, and all the seventeen magazines read is a little overwhelming.
I will sum it up in saying that I am blessed! Many would look at my life and my family situation and wonder how I feel blessed. God has been so good to me. Though my parents are not a part of my life (and haven't been for most of my life), I have the best family ever. They love me and have made every effort to give me the things that I need and show me how to love. They have been Jesus to me. I am much more than blessed, I am RICH!!!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Open the Eyes of My Heart
As I have continued reading Seeds of Change another story stood out to me that I want to share. Steven Curtis Chapman shares that while worshiping in China he was singing the song Open the Eyes of My Heart. As he sang the words, "open the eyes of my heart Lord... I want to see you" he was also praying those very words. God spoke to Him and said, "Open your eyes, I am right in front of you." When he opened his eyes he saw that an orphan girl had crawled into his guitar case and was staring up at him.
You couldn't ask for a more real picture of Christ. He tells us over and over again that His heart is for the poor, needy, and orphaned.
This story reminded me of a scripture that I came across this weekend. Job 42:5 says, "My ears had heard of you before, but now my eyes have seen you." I agree with John Piper's statement, "Adoption is the visible gospel." This scripture proves that. Not only do we see Christ in these orphans, these orphans see Christ in us when we follow His command to care for them. This beautiful cycle is truly the gospel in action!
You couldn't ask for a more real picture of Christ. He tells us over and over again that His heart is for the poor, needy, and orphaned.
This story reminded me of a scripture that I came across this weekend. Job 42:5 says, "My ears had heard of you before, but now my eyes have seen you." I agree with John Piper's statement, "Adoption is the visible gospel." This scripture proves that. Not only do we see Christ in these orphans, these orphans see Christ in us when we follow His command to care for them. This beautiful cycle is truly the gospel in action!
An Unsafe Journey
I recently purchased a devotional book from Show Hope. The book is called Seeds of Change. Sunday night I started reading the book and a few things have stood out to me. Steven Curtis Chapman wrote the first entry. In it, he talks about how God is inviting us to join Him in caring for orphans. We know that God is going to care for them whether we take part or not. Just like anything in our lives, He is always in control and His plan will always come to fruition. We can get on board and be a part of the blessing or idly stand by and miss what He has in store for us.
SCC says that God was saying to him, "I'm going to provide for these children, but I want to invite you to be a part of that. I'm going to glorify Myself through this." He goes on to say, "There is nothing safe about God's invitation. All adventures carry with them some level of excitement and hazard, and we cannot remain safe and comfortable and still go on a God-sized adventure. But God doesn't call us to be safe, He calls us to be bold and courageous, and we can trust that even our safety will be taken care of by the One who invites us to to bravely step out in faith. As C.S. Lewis says in the Chronicles of Narnia when speaking of Aslan, 'Of course He isn't safe, but He is good.'"
This journey isn't easy and sometimes it doesn't feel safe. My friend Brooke would probably be the first to testify to that. The financial risks that they have taken to add Dillen to their family certainly have not felt safe or probably smart. For us it has felt unsafe in that some of my family has not given us the reaction that we expected. They made it pretty clear that they didn't support our decision and that our child would not really be a part of the family. That broke my heart and made me angry! It doesn't seem safe to completely change our lives and routines by going from two adults to caring for two adults and a small child. It is scary to think how our marriage may change. Though it doesn't seem safe, I can't help but think that nothing worth having has ever been easy.
Here's to be unsafe!
SCC says that God was saying to him, "I'm going to provide for these children, but I want to invite you to be a part of that. I'm going to glorify Myself through this." He goes on to say, "There is nothing safe about God's invitation. All adventures carry with them some level of excitement and hazard, and we cannot remain safe and comfortable and still go on a God-sized adventure. But God doesn't call us to be safe, He calls us to be bold and courageous, and we can trust that even our safety will be taken care of by the One who invites us to to bravely step out in faith. As C.S. Lewis says in the Chronicles of Narnia when speaking of Aslan, 'Of course He isn't safe, but He is good.'"
This journey isn't easy and sometimes it doesn't feel safe. My friend Brooke would probably be the first to testify to that. The financial risks that they have taken to add Dillen to their family certainly have not felt safe or probably smart. For us it has felt unsafe in that some of my family has not given us the reaction that we expected. They made it pretty clear that they didn't support our decision and that our child would not really be a part of the family. That broke my heart and made me angry! It doesn't seem safe to completely change our lives and routines by going from two adults to caring for two adults and a small child. It is scary to think how our marriage may change. Though it doesn't seem safe, I can't help but think that nothing worth having has ever been easy.
Here's to be unsafe!
Friday, November 21, 2008
More Thoughts on Act Now
* Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
You may not be called to adopt but that doesn't mean you aren't called to act (James 1:27). If we as the church would act, we could do away with the world's orphan problem. The number of Christians in our world out number the number of orphans in our world. We could single-handedly wipe the problem of orphans. Just one church could make a dent in it's county's orphan population. Aside from bringing them into your home, you can hold fundraisers and give of your own time and resources. You can support your local adoptive/foster families, children's homes, and missionaries working with orphans.
Many people feel like they can't make a difference, but you can. I will say it again, YES, You Can! Here is some inspiration:
*I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. -Edward Everett Hale
*We cannot do great things, only small things with great love. -Mother Teresa
Not only will your action make a difference in the life of an orphan, you bless the heart of God. When we bless God, He pours the blessing back on us ten fold!
*You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. - 2 Corinthians 9:11
*Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9
Can we really make a difference? Bob the Builder said it best, "Yes we can!"
You may not be called to adopt but that doesn't mean you aren't called to act (James 1:27). If we as the church would act, we could do away with the world's orphan problem. The number of Christians in our world out number the number of orphans in our world. We could single-handedly wipe the problem of orphans. Just one church could make a dent in it's county's orphan population. Aside from bringing them into your home, you can hold fundraisers and give of your own time and resources. You can support your local adoptive/foster families, children's homes, and missionaries working with orphans.
Many people feel like they can't make a difference, but you can. I will say it again, YES, You Can! Here is some inspiration:
*I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. -Edward Everett Hale
*We cannot do great things, only small things with great love. -Mother Teresa
Not only will your action make a difference in the life of an orphan, you bless the heart of God. When we bless God, He pours the blessing back on us ten fold!
*You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. - 2 Corinthians 9:11
*Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9
Can we really make a difference? Bob the Builder said it best, "Yes we can!"
Thoughts on Adoption
I got a package in the mail from Show Hope yesterday. I haven't been this excited about the mail in a long time. We ordered a devotional book and some of their general brochures. Of course, I tore into the padded envelope and began reading. Several quotes and scriptures used in the Act Now book stood out to me.
Since this is adoption awareness month, I want to share them with you. Maybe just maybe, this will spark your thoughts too. Hopefully it will inspire you to Act Now and do something for orphans.
* "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute." Proverbs 31:8
This verse came to life to me last night. Bryan and I were watching a documentary on The Military Channel. They were following Marines in Iraq. This particular company was doing some police/investigation work in a province. They went from house to house seeking info about insurgents. One house that they came to had two pre teen girls living in it. One of the Marines was nearly in tears explaining how these girls were living. They were both special needs children and were lying in the floor in their own feces and only partially clothed. He demanded the man remove the girls. After they were brought outside, he demanded that the man clean them up, clothe them, and feed them. He told him that they would return later in the day to make sure that this was done. The girls could not speak, someone had to speak up for them. Thank God for that Marine!
*"Prayer does not equip us for greater works- prayer is the greater work." -Oswald Chambers
Maybe you don't feel the call to bring orphans into your home. You can do something- PRAY! Pray that these children are provided for while waiting. Pray for families to be open to God's call to adopt. Pray for the people that care for them in the meantime (foster parents, social workers, missionaries, orphanage staff, etc).
The thoughts don't stop here, so check back soon.
Since this is adoption awareness month, I want to share them with you. Maybe just maybe, this will spark your thoughts too. Hopefully it will inspire you to Act Now and do something for orphans.
* "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute." Proverbs 31:8
This verse came to life to me last night. Bryan and I were watching a documentary on The Military Channel. They were following Marines in Iraq. This particular company was doing some police/investigation work in a province. They went from house to house seeking info about insurgents. One house that they came to had two pre teen girls living in it. One of the Marines was nearly in tears explaining how these girls were living. They were both special needs children and were lying in the floor in their own feces and only partially clothed. He demanded the man remove the girls. After they were brought outside, he demanded that the man clean them up, clothe them, and feed them. He told him that they would return later in the day to make sure that this was done. The girls could not speak, someone had to speak up for them. Thank God for that Marine!
*"Prayer does not equip us for greater works- prayer is the greater work." -Oswald Chambers
Maybe you don't feel the call to bring orphans into your home. You can do something- PRAY! Pray that these children are provided for while waiting. Pray for families to be open to God's call to adopt. Pray for the people that care for them in the meantime (foster parents, social workers, missionaries, orphanage staff, etc).
The thoughts don't stop here, so check back soon.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Prayers for Dillen
This morning I opened up laptop and logged on to my blogger dashboard. At the bottom of my page are all the updates to the blogs that I follow. I am always excited to see anything from my dear friend Brooke. You may recognize her name, I frequently ask you to pray for she and Chris as they await the arrival of their precious daughter Dillen.
Dillen was born on Dec. 15, 2007. They have been waiting to bring her home since late Dec. 07 or Jan. 08. Dillen is the second referral that they received from their agency. When they were within a few weeks of possibly traveling to bring Sophia home, they got word that she was not legally available for adoption. They would not be allowed to adopt her. They soon received the referral for Dillen. Several families have travelled to Vietnam and sent pictures back of this beautiful little girl. I have been lucky enough to have Brooke share most of them with me.
There have been many, many set backs along the way for Brooke and Chris. Most of these problems have been caused by their adoption agency. The agency has been very vague about many things. At other times, many times, they have just not communicated with Brooke at all. This has been very frustrating and heart breaking. Not only have Brooke and Chris spent tens of thousands of dollars with this agency, they have invested a lot of time in the process. Most importantly, they have given their hearts to this precious child. Everyday, she grows and changes and misses the opportunity to be loved and nurtured by her family.
I can not imagine the emotions that they have experienced with each set back. It has broken my heart and brought me to tears every time. It breaks my heart to see the hurt and disappointment in Brooke's face when she shares the latest news. This morning that happened again as I read her blog. Though I don't know the details, there seems to be another set back.
I hurt so badly for them and for Dillen! To some extent, I understand, as we have had many emotions in our own waiting process. It is completely different in the sense that we don't know who we are waiting on. There is no precious face that we see growing and changing with each new set of photos. It is still my prayer that Dillen will be with her family on her up coming birthday. Even if they are not home, I pray that they will be together in the baby home.
Please pray for Brooke, Chris, and Dillen. I have grown to love this child I have never met, so I can't imagine how they must feel. Brooke has been amazing through all of this. She takes each set back in stride and pushes through. She has been an excellent example of strength and grace. As tough as this is, I know that God is STILL in control. I am praying for His peace and strength for her. Pray friends, pray!
Monday, November 17, 2008
It's Monday!!!
Well, it's Monday. You know what that means... madness ensues! I had a great weekend with a trip to IKEA (always a good thing) and dinner with the fam. The Monday madness came early though. I have been having trouble sleeping for a long time, but the last month it has been really bad. 11:00 comes and goes, as does 12 and 1, and I am still wide awake. It has been about 2 before I have forced myself to get in the bed. That didn't happen until 3 this morning and I still laid in the bed wide awake for a long time. The alarm went off at 8 for Bryan to get up and I got up with him.
I left around 12:30 to run errands before coming to work. One stop was at Hobby Lobby where the blunder of the day happened. I am a bit obsessive about where I park. If at all possible, I park in the same row every time so that I can find the car easily. Well, lets just say that backfired on me today. As I walk into the Hobby Lobby parking lot, I see my car and hit the button on my key chain. I didn't hear the door unlock, so I hit the button again. By that time I am beside the car, so I pull the handle. The door doesn't open so I hit the button again and still the door doesn't unlock.
As I stand there looking in the window I thought that something didn't seem right. It wasn't my car!!! My car was about three spots down. Thank goodness the owner didn't see me and come after me. I was a bit embarrassed. Oh well, it's Monday and those things happen.
I left around 12:30 to run errands before coming to work. One stop was at Hobby Lobby where the blunder of the day happened. I am a bit obsessive about where I park. If at all possible, I park in the same row every time so that I can find the car easily. Well, lets just say that backfired on me today. As I walk into the Hobby Lobby parking lot, I see my car and hit the button on my key chain. I didn't hear the door unlock, so I hit the button again. By that time I am beside the car, so I pull the handle. The door doesn't open so I hit the button again and still the door doesn't unlock.
As I stand there looking in the window I thought that something didn't seem right. It wasn't my car!!! My car was about three spots down. Thank goodness the owner didn't see me and come after me. I was a bit embarrassed. Oh well, it's Monday and those things happen.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
What happens to Foster Kids?
Challenges facing waiting children in the U.S.
» Each year, an estimated 20,000 young people in the U.S. foster-care system turn 18 and are turned away from further support and services.
» What happens to young people who are removed from foster care after turning 18?
54% Earned a high school diploma
2% Obtained a Bachelor's degree or higher
51% Were unemployed
30% Had no health insurance
25% Had been homeless
30% Were receiving public assistance
» 30 percent of all U.S. homeless adults have spent time in the foster care system.
» 60 percent of young women had children within four years after leaving foster care.
Statistics From: CryoftheOrphan.com
» Each year, an estimated 20,000 young people in the U.S. foster-care system turn 18 and are turned away from further support and services.
» What happens to young people who are removed from foster care after turning 18?
54% Earned a high school diploma
2% Obtained a Bachelor's degree or higher
51% Were unemployed
30% Had no health insurance
25% Had been homeless
30% Were receiving public assistance
» 30 percent of all U.S. homeless adults have spent time in the foster care system.
» 60 percent of young women had children within four years after leaving foster care.
Statistics From: CryoftheOrphan.com
If the Biblical command in James 1:27 (along with many other Biblical references to orphans and adoption) are not enough to stir you, consider this: As a part of the foster care system, your tax dollars are paying for the day to day living expenses of these children. If you are going to support these children, why not do it from start to finish and insure that they are being properly cared for and being introduced to the love of Christ. Care for them personally! I know that everyone is not in the position to bring a child into their home, but most of us can offer our time by volunteering or raising awareness about foster care.
More Adoption Info
November is Adoption Awareness Month. Here are some statistics that may surprise you about adoption. If you have ever considered adoption or foster care, now is the perfect time to get more information. You will never know if it is for you until you take the first step and get more info. I would be glad to point you in the right direction! Also, you can check out Cry of the Orphan for info. Every child deserves a family for the holidays!
Global Orphans
*Over 130 million orphans and waiting children under the age of 18 have lost one or both parents.i
*Over 13 million double orphans under the age of 18 have lost both parents.ii
*Sub-Saharan Africa, with 48.3 million orphans, has the highest proportion of children who are orphans at 12%
*Asia has the largest total number of orphans with 73.7 million orphans, which represents 6% of all children
*Latin America and the Caribbean has 10.7 million orphans, also representing 6% of all children.iii
*Over 15 million children have lost a parent due to AIDS, and that number is expected to rise to over 20 million by 2010.iv
*Without AIDS, the total number of double orphans in sub-Saharan Africa would have declined between 1990 and 2010. AIDS, however, will push the number of double orphans in the region from 9 million to more than 10 million by 2010.v
*Orphaned children are much more likely than non-orphans to be working in commercial agriculture, as street vendors, in domestic service and in the sex trade.vi
*Orphans are more vulnerable and at risk of becoming victims of violence, exploitation, trafficking, discrimination or other abuses.vii
Domestic Orphans
*More than 500,000 children are in United States foster care.viii
*Over 120,000 children in foster care are waiting to be adopted.ix
*Only around 50,000 children, or 18% of those waiting in foster care, are adopted every year.x
*On average, children in foster care wait over 2 years to be adopted.xi
Adoption
*Over one-third of Americans have ever considered adopting, but no more than 2 percent of Americans have actually adopted.xii
*48% of the people who have seriously considered adoption indicated that they would first look to a house of worship (church) for information or advice about adopting.xiii
Global Orphans
*Over 130 million orphans and waiting children under the age of 18 have lost one or both parents.i
*Over 13 million double orphans under the age of 18 have lost both parents.ii
*Sub-Saharan Africa, with 48.3 million orphans, has the highest proportion of children who are orphans at 12%
*Asia has the largest total number of orphans with 73.7 million orphans, which represents 6% of all children
*Latin America and the Caribbean has 10.7 million orphans, also representing 6% of all children.iii
*Over 15 million children have lost a parent due to AIDS, and that number is expected to rise to over 20 million by 2010.iv
*Without AIDS, the total number of double orphans in sub-Saharan Africa would have declined between 1990 and 2010. AIDS, however, will push the number of double orphans in the region from 9 million to more than 10 million by 2010.v
*Orphaned children are much more likely than non-orphans to be working in commercial agriculture, as street vendors, in domestic service and in the sex trade.vi
*Orphans are more vulnerable and at risk of becoming victims of violence, exploitation, trafficking, discrimination or other abuses.vii
Domestic Orphans
*More than 500,000 children are in United States foster care.viii
*Over 120,000 children in foster care are waiting to be adopted.ix
*Only around 50,000 children, or 18% of those waiting in foster care, are adopted every year.x
*On average, children in foster care wait over 2 years to be adopted.xi
Adoption
*Over one-third of Americans have ever considered adopting, but no more than 2 percent of Americans have actually adopted.xii
*48% of the people who have seriously considered adoption indicated that they would first look to a house of worship (church) for information or advice about adopting.xiii
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
A Facebook group you must join!
I received a facebook request this morning that caught me a little off guard. It was sent from my nephew Jeremy. Someone created a group called "Get Holder back in the gym." About this time last year Bryan started going to the gym and started his journey to fitness. He lost 20 or 25 pounds and was feeling much better. His energy level was much higher, his stress level was lower, and he slept much better. With the opening of The Garage and the preparation for that, he got out of his routine.
Everyone around us was noticing and commenting on Bryan's journey to wellness. We were all very proud of him. The last couple of weeks Bryan has been saying that he needs to go back and he has become more sluggish and more stressed. Though the facebook request caught me off guard, I was glad to see it. I think the push and encouragement might just be the thing that he needs to get him back in there.
If you are on facebook, please join this group. The more encouragement Bryan has the more likely he is to get back on it. Let me be clear and say that I love him exactly like he is. I don't care if he loses another pound. I do want him to feel better and to relieve some of the stress that he is under and in the past the gym has been a great way for him to do this. The more people who join, the more likely he will be. Who doesn't need that kind of accountability!
I have been struggling with this myself. I have never been in the gym and I need to get there. Right now, the location is a major issue for me. The gym is about 30 mins from our house and 45 or more mins from my office. It is WAY out of the way for me. However, I need to do something. Pray that I will get motivated and figure something out soon.
Everyone around us was noticing and commenting on Bryan's journey to wellness. We were all very proud of him. The last couple of weeks Bryan has been saying that he needs to go back and he has become more sluggish and more stressed. Though the facebook request caught me off guard, I was glad to see it. I think the push and encouragement might just be the thing that he needs to get him back in there.
If you are on facebook, please join this group. The more encouragement Bryan has the more likely he is to get back on it. Let me be clear and say that I love him exactly like he is. I don't care if he loses another pound. I do want him to feel better and to relieve some of the stress that he is under and in the past the gym has been a great way for him to do this. The more people who join, the more likely he will be. Who doesn't need that kind of accountability!
I have been struggling with this myself. I have never been in the gym and I need to get there. Right now, the location is a major issue for me. The gym is about 30 mins from our house and 45 or more mins from my office. It is WAY out of the way for me. However, I need to do something. Pray that I will get motivated and figure something out soon.
Monday, November 10, 2008
God is faithful
Once again this weekend, God has proven to us that He is always faithful to answer our prayers. Friday night we, MSM, hosted The After Party after the Wren/Easley game. Bryan was a bit concerned that things would not turn out so well, mostly due to the weather. Well, it went GREAT!!! We had a great turn out and the students seemed to have a great time. Even officer Roger got in on the karaoke.
This morning, we had around 70 Middle School kids in the service. We have been around 70 or 75 each week so far. Sammy was teaching in the main service today, so Pastor Eddie hung out in the middle school service. We had 8 salvations! Pastor Eddie got to talk with two of them. After the service we had a newcomers luncheon. Several of the families had students who have been coming to youth. All of them made positive comments about the student ministry. It was very encouraging.
I am going to back track a little now.
If you have been reading for the last few weeks, you know that we have been praying for clarity about some decisions we needed to make in reference to our adoption. On Saturday, God answered those prayers. It was such an obvious answer that we couldn't deny it. It has been emotionally draining waiting for this answer and I never expected it to come the way that it did. However, I am very glad that it came and that it is now clear.
Right now, I don't feel like I should share all the details, but I do want to thank you for your prayers. It was a reality that was somewhat hard to take, but it is very clear now that God wants us to continue to wait. Please pray now for the child that was invovled in this situation.
We are looking forward to the 22nd when we will be meeting with the social workers at DSS. Hopefully this will speed the process along a little. Then again, this could be another one of those hurry up and wait experiences. No matter what, God continues to show me that He is still very much in the middle of this and He isn't going anywhere. At least that is one thing I know for sure!
This morning, we had around 70 Middle School kids in the service. We have been around 70 or 75 each week so far. Sammy was teaching in the main service today, so Pastor Eddie hung out in the middle school service. We had 8 salvations! Pastor Eddie got to talk with two of them. After the service we had a newcomers luncheon. Several of the families had students who have been coming to youth. All of them made positive comments about the student ministry. It was very encouraging.
I am going to back track a little now.
If you have been reading for the last few weeks, you know that we have been praying for clarity about some decisions we needed to make in reference to our adoption. On Saturday, God answered those prayers. It was such an obvious answer that we couldn't deny it. It has been emotionally draining waiting for this answer and I never expected it to come the way that it did. However, I am very glad that it came and that it is now clear.
Right now, I don't feel like I should share all the details, but I do want to thank you for your prayers. It was a reality that was somewhat hard to take, but it is very clear now that God wants us to continue to wait. Please pray now for the child that was invovled in this situation.
We are looking forward to the 22nd when we will be meeting with the social workers at DSS. Hopefully this will speed the process along a little. Then again, this could be another one of those hurry up and wait experiences. No matter what, God continues to show me that He is still very much in the middle of this and He isn't going anywhere. At least that is one thing I know for sure!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
*WOW*
WOW, that is all I could say as I sat here crying about 30 minutes ago. I have been reading a lot about forgiveness and coming to terms with family losses lately. (Much of this has been from an adoption perspective.) A new book on this subject has coming out called Running for My Life by Warrick Dunn. Dunn plays for Tampa Bay. The book is about his journey through football and life.
Ok, I hate football, so why would this spark my interest and what does it have to do with loss and forgiveness? Chapter 1 is titled Face to Face. Dunn talks about his trip to Angola state prison where he faced and forgave the young man that killed his mother. He talks about how the counseling he received help him move past the hurt to forgive this man and make something of his loss.
Watch this video to get a better idea. (Sorry, I can"t figure out how to embed the video!)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/18424824#27573310
There is an ex cert from the book available on the Today Show. Though I have never bought or read a sports book before, I will definitely be adding this one to my collection. I'll keep you posted.
Ok, I hate football, so why would this spark my interest and what does it have to do with loss and forgiveness? Chapter 1 is titled Face to Face. Dunn talks about his trip to Angola state prison where he faced and forgave the young man that killed his mother. He talks about how the counseling he received help him move past the hurt to forgive this man and make something of his loss.
Watch this video to get a better idea. (Sorry, I can"t figure out how to embed the video!)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/18424824#27573310
There is an ex cert from the book available on the Today Show. Though I have never bought or read a sports book before, I will definitely be adding this one to my collection. I'll keep you posted.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A Beautiful Site
This past weekend, we went to Asheville, NC for a little quiet time. On the way back, we stopped by the Billy Graham Training Center. Neither of us had been there before, so we didn't know what to expect.
I think it is safe to say that we were both blown away. We didn't expect for this to be an emotional experience, but it was. Even me, stone face, couldn't help but cry. It was really odd (in a good way). We both became completely overwhelmed with emotion as we were looking at photos of the Graham family and different crusades they had done. It was very humbling to think that God could use one person in such incredible was. One very willing person.
The facility is beautiful! You definitely need to visit if you have a chance. Here are some photos that I took inside the chapel.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
November is Adoption Awareness Month
FOSTER CARE STATISTICS
*Currently, there are approximately 513,000 children in foster care in the United States. It's estimated that 114,000 are eligible for adoption.
*In 2005, about 51,000 children were adopted from foster care.
*68% of parents who adopt from foster care are married couples, 27% are single females, 2% are unmarried couples, and 3% are single males.
*Median age of child in foster care: 10.6 years.
*Race/ethnicity of children in foster care: 41% Caucasian, 32% African-American, 18% Hispanic, and 1% Asian; 8% other.
*The average child in foster care goes through three different placements and stays in the system for nearly 29 months.
*Each year, about 20,000 children age out of foster care.
*Currently, there are approximately 513,000 children in foster care in the United States. It's estimated that 114,000 are eligible for adoption.
*In 2005, about 51,000 children were adopted from foster care.
*68% of parents who adopt from foster care are married couples, 27% are single females, 2% are unmarried couples, and 3% are single males.
*Median age of child in foster care: 10.6 years.
*Race/ethnicity of children in foster care: 41% Caucasian, 32% African-American, 18% Hispanic, and 1% Asian; 8% other.
*The average child in foster care goes through three different placements and stays in the system for nearly 29 months.
*Each year, about 20,000 children age out of foster care.
Shout Outs
In preparation for our adoption, I have been trying to take advantage of as many resources as possible. A hand full of friends have suggested books that I have been trying to read, along with ones that I have found recommended on the Internet. I want to take a minute to give some Shout Outs, as our students would say, to these great resources.
Before I have mentioned Before You Were Mine, Parenting with Love and Logic, and Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. Someone also recommended The Five Love Languages of Children, but I haven't gotten to that one yet. I would also like to read some books about attachment.
Besides books, I have tried to find blogs and other websites, as well as pod casts. One podcast in particular has been such a blessing. The Foster Parenting Podcast with Tim and Wendy is one that I would highly recommend. They are Christians and are currently fostering to adopt two girls. They are very honest and share as much about their experiences as much they can. If you have ever considered adoption or foster care, I would highly recommend that you take a listen. It puts a lot of things in perspective for you.
Well, those are my adoption shout outs for now. I will keep you updated on future finds. If you have suggestions, please pass them on.
Before I have mentioned Before You Were Mine, Parenting with Love and Logic, and Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. Someone also recommended The Five Love Languages of Children, but I haven't gotten to that one yet. I would also like to read some books about attachment.
Besides books, I have tried to find blogs and other websites, as well as pod casts. One podcast in particular has been such a blessing. The Foster Parenting Podcast with Tim and Wendy is one that I would highly recommend. They are Christians and are currently fostering to adopt two girls. They are very honest and share as much about their experiences as much they can. If you have ever considered adoption or foster care, I would highly recommend that you take a listen. It puts a lot of things in perspective for you.
Well, those are my adoption shout outs for now. I will keep you updated on future finds. If you have suggestions, please pass them on.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
4 years of reflection
Today is the 4th anniversary of the murder of Leslie Mazzara. Leslie was one of my best friends in high school . Leslie’s death was the last major event of the absolute hardest year of my life. That summer we made the transition into Bryan’s current position at Marathon. Any change in ministry leadership is tough, but this particular transition carried a lot more emotions and confusion than the typical change. We were so excited about the opportunity that God had given us, but at the same time we knew that the former pastor left with some hurt. Bryan officially came on staff August 1st. A week or so later, I resigned my position and accepted a new job that began September 1st. There was some tension that came with that because I had been working for my dad.
That October became the single worst month ever! October 11th my Granddaddy died very suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack. My Granddaddy was the single most important man in my life. He and my Grandmother raised me and I had a very special bond with them. I had never faced a loss like this. The day that we buried my Granddaddy , my pastor’s wife told us that one of our volunteers (he was a parent to one of our students) had been killed in a car accident that morning. The following week, one of our students was hospitalized for cutting her self. Her mother was in jail and she had no other family, so we were called to the hospital. We spent the whole night there with her and got her checked into a children’s treatment facility. Over the next few weeks, we would call and make visits to see her. We were also trying to make arrangements for her care after she was released. As if all that weren’t enough, I get the call that Leslie had been killed.
Needless to say, my world had totally been turned upside down. Four years later, I can look back on the madness, cry, and say that I have grown and learned a lot. I would like to share a few of those lessons with the hope that they might help someone else.
Lesson 1 & 2: I don’t have to be the strong one & Everyone needs to grieve.
I have always had this idea in my mind that I have to be a rock. Never let them see you sweat. Growing up in the situation that I did, I grew up really fast. It was necessary for me to grow up and face challenges like an adult even as a small child. This mindset made it really hard to grieve. I thought that I had to hold it all together. It was my job to single handedly hold my family together and to be the one that could handle all of this flawlessly. I needed to be strong and take care of everyone.
In front of everyone I put on a tough front. I was strong. Once I was alone, I fell apart. Thank goodness for my sweet Bryan. He would just hold me and let me get it all out. He never pushed, he was just there. It took a few weeks, but I finally realized as strong as I thought I was, I couldn’t do this on my own. Roy McCall, one of our pastors, was such a blessing. He did some counseling with me and helped me to see, that I couldn’t help anyone until I helped myself. The strongest thing I could do, was to face my feelings and grieve. Only after that, could I help my family or anyone else.
Lesson 3: Don’t take relationships for granted.
We never really think that something could happen to someone we love. Because of this, we often let circumstances and situations get the best of us. We hold back and don’t always follow those leadings that we get. I had not talked to my grandparents for several days when my Granddaddy died. That morning as I drove to work, I told myself that I needed to call them and make plans to come by after work. I’m sad to say, that I never made that call. Looking back, I can’t help but think that was the Lord’s way of giving me the opportunity to say goodbye.
In 9th and 10th grade, Leslie and I were inseparable. In 11th grade, Leslie started spending more and more time with some other friends and by our senior year, we were only together occasionally. We went to different colleges and chose different paths and gradually lost touch. Several years later, I saw her in the mall and chose not to speak for whatever reason. Through her death, I was reunited with several friends. Unfortunately, we have not all been that great about staying in touch.
I can’t focus on regrets, it doesn’t do any good, but I can look back and make changes for the future.
Lesson 4: (Probably the most important) Time really does heal all wounds.
In the midst of all of this and even months later, I thought that I would never heal. I honestly thought that I would continue to cry over every tiny thing and that I would always feel like my life was completely out of control. Every picture, every thought, every comment, I thought that I would never have another day without the deep pain, sadness, and crying. Life would never be the same again.
Well, I was right about one thing, life never would be the same again. But, it would go on and it would get easier. You can’t experience a major loss and not be changed by it. You can, however, choose not to be frozen by the loss. For many months I still struggled greatly with my emotions and processing the losses. Each year that has gone by has gotten a little easier. I haven’t forgotten about Granddaddy or Leslie, or any of the other life changes I experienced that year. I see my Granddaddy’s picture on my dresser everyday. I go into my Grandma’s house and see the chair that he sat in at the table. I see and hear things all the time that make me think of him. At first, I saw all of those things and I would think about how brokenhearted I was and how much I wished he hadn’t gone. It all reminded me of my loss.
Now, they remind me of my blessings. I see those things and I think of great memories I shared with him. I think about how lucky I was to have those 26 years with him. I think of how blessed I am to have been loved the longest (though my family may argue that I was loved the most). My Granddaddy was such a huge part of my life that it is hard not to be reminded of him everyday. Sometimes, like now, I still cry and I always miss him dearly. It is my job now to preserve those memories and remember what a blessing he was and still is to me!
How did I get to that point? A lot of time, a lot of prayer, a lot of support, and a wonderful suggestion by Roy. Roy encouraged me to write a letter to my Granddaddy and to Leslie. The letter was a way for me to say all the things I didn’t have a chance to before they passed. I could be totally honest and there was no fear of the response. This was a way to get closure, but also, to be able to articulate my feelings. I would suggest this to anyone facing a loss.
Healing is a continual process and I am still on the journey, but I now know that I don’t have to be on that journey alone. As a matter of fact, the more the better. After all, there is strength in numbers.
That October became the single worst month ever! October 11th my Granddaddy died very suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack. My Granddaddy was the single most important man in my life. He and my Grandmother raised me and I had a very special bond with them. I had never faced a loss like this. The day that we buried my Granddaddy , my pastor’s wife told us that one of our volunteers (he was a parent to one of our students) had been killed in a car accident that morning. The following week, one of our students was hospitalized for cutting her self. Her mother was in jail and she had no other family, so we were called to the hospital. We spent the whole night there with her and got her checked into a children’s treatment facility. Over the next few weeks, we would call and make visits to see her. We were also trying to make arrangements for her care after she was released. As if all that weren’t enough, I get the call that Leslie had been killed.
Needless to say, my world had totally been turned upside down. Four years later, I can look back on the madness, cry, and say that I have grown and learned a lot. I would like to share a few of those lessons with the hope that they might help someone else.
Lesson 1 & 2: I don’t have to be the strong one & Everyone needs to grieve.
I have always had this idea in my mind that I have to be a rock. Never let them see you sweat. Growing up in the situation that I did, I grew up really fast. It was necessary for me to grow up and face challenges like an adult even as a small child. This mindset made it really hard to grieve. I thought that I had to hold it all together. It was my job to single handedly hold my family together and to be the one that could handle all of this flawlessly. I needed to be strong and take care of everyone.
In front of everyone I put on a tough front. I was strong. Once I was alone, I fell apart. Thank goodness for my sweet Bryan. He would just hold me and let me get it all out. He never pushed, he was just there. It took a few weeks, but I finally realized as strong as I thought I was, I couldn’t do this on my own. Roy McCall, one of our pastors, was such a blessing. He did some counseling with me and helped me to see, that I couldn’t help anyone until I helped myself. The strongest thing I could do, was to face my feelings and grieve. Only after that, could I help my family or anyone else.
Lesson 3: Don’t take relationships for granted.
We never really think that something could happen to someone we love. Because of this, we often let circumstances and situations get the best of us. We hold back and don’t always follow those leadings that we get. I had not talked to my grandparents for several days when my Granddaddy died. That morning as I drove to work, I told myself that I needed to call them and make plans to come by after work. I’m sad to say, that I never made that call. Looking back, I can’t help but think that was the Lord’s way of giving me the opportunity to say goodbye.
In 9th and 10th grade, Leslie and I were inseparable. In 11th grade, Leslie started spending more and more time with some other friends and by our senior year, we were only together occasionally. We went to different colleges and chose different paths and gradually lost touch. Several years later, I saw her in the mall and chose not to speak for whatever reason. Through her death, I was reunited with several friends. Unfortunately, we have not all been that great about staying in touch.
I can’t focus on regrets, it doesn’t do any good, but I can look back and make changes for the future.
Lesson 4: (Probably the most important) Time really does heal all wounds.
In the midst of all of this and even months later, I thought that I would never heal. I honestly thought that I would continue to cry over every tiny thing and that I would always feel like my life was completely out of control. Every picture, every thought, every comment, I thought that I would never have another day without the deep pain, sadness, and crying. Life would never be the same again.
Well, I was right about one thing, life never would be the same again. But, it would go on and it would get easier. You can’t experience a major loss and not be changed by it. You can, however, choose not to be frozen by the loss. For many months I still struggled greatly with my emotions and processing the losses. Each year that has gone by has gotten a little easier. I haven’t forgotten about Granddaddy or Leslie, or any of the other life changes I experienced that year. I see my Granddaddy’s picture on my dresser everyday. I go into my Grandma’s house and see the chair that he sat in at the table. I see and hear things all the time that make me think of him. At first, I saw all of those things and I would think about how brokenhearted I was and how much I wished he hadn’t gone. It all reminded me of my loss.
Now, they remind me of my blessings. I see those things and I think of great memories I shared with him. I think about how lucky I was to have those 26 years with him. I think of how blessed I am to have been loved the longest (though my family may argue that I was loved the most). My Granddaddy was such a huge part of my life that it is hard not to be reminded of him everyday. Sometimes, like now, I still cry and I always miss him dearly. It is my job now to preserve those memories and remember what a blessing he was and still is to me!
How did I get to that point? A lot of time, a lot of prayer, a lot of support, and a wonderful suggestion by Roy. Roy encouraged me to write a letter to my Granddaddy and to Leslie. The letter was a way for me to say all the things I didn’t have a chance to before they passed. I could be totally honest and there was no fear of the response. This was a way to get closure, but also, to be able to articulate my feelings. I would suggest this to anyone facing a loss.
Healing is a continual process and I am still on the journey, but I now know that I don’t have to be on that journey alone. As a matter of fact, the more the better. After all, there is strength in numbers.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Pray hard for us this weekend!!!!!
People continue to ask us about our progress in the adoption process. The honest answer is... nothing. We haven't heard anything from DSS. The last contact was about 2 or 3 months ago when I called them. However, we have been approached by a family member who currently has custody of their grandchildren. They feel certain that the parents' rights will be terminated within the next couple of months. They will be unable to keep the 3 children and initially asked us to consider all 3. Now, they are asking us to consider 1 and have asked Bryan's sisters to consider the other 2.
This has been very heavy on my heart as God has not given me a peace about the situation. I don't feel that He has told us yes or no. This is a major step and a HUGE decision. We have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are making the right decision. Too many lives will be affected in major ways to make this decision lightly. Bryan has some reservations about the decision as well.
Brooke and I talked about the situation and she brought up a good point that made me think. She said, "This is not a puppy you are bringing home." She is so right. The last time we brought home a puppy, it never actually made it home with us. The dog obviously didn't like us and tried to run away. Belle didn't like the dog and it was obvious that it wasn't going to work. Thankfully, Chase and Casey fell in love with the dog and took her home. Baylor has been with them for 2 or 3 years now and wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Somehow, I don't think that I can send my child to live with Chase and Casey if things don't work out. This is a forever decision.
God has continued to put one thing after another in my face to make me question this decision. I desperately need some peace and clarity on this decision. We are going to try and take some time away so that we can focus on God and his leading in this decision.
On a side note, a family should be arriving in Vietnam today. This family is the one before Brooke and Chris, so they will be traveling next. Let's pray for little Dillen to be home (or at least with her parents) before her 1st birthday on Dec. 15.
This has been very heavy on my heart as God has not given me a peace about the situation. I don't feel that He has told us yes or no. This is a major step and a HUGE decision. We have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are making the right decision. Too many lives will be affected in major ways to make this decision lightly. Bryan has some reservations about the decision as well.
Brooke and I talked about the situation and she brought up a good point that made me think. She said, "This is not a puppy you are bringing home." She is so right. The last time we brought home a puppy, it never actually made it home with us. The dog obviously didn't like us and tried to run away. Belle didn't like the dog and it was obvious that it wasn't going to work. Thankfully, Chase and Casey fell in love with the dog and took her home. Baylor has been with them for 2 or 3 years now and wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Somehow, I don't think that I can send my child to live with Chase and Casey if things don't work out. This is a forever decision.
God has continued to put one thing after another in my face to make me question this decision. I desperately need some peace and clarity on this decision. We are going to try and take some time away so that we can focus on God and his leading in this decision.
On a side note, a family should be arriving in Vietnam today. This family is the one before Brooke and Chris, so they will be traveling next. Let's pray for little Dillen to be home (or at least with her parents) before her 1st birthday on Dec. 15.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
I know it has been a while since my last post. Because it has been a while, the next few posts will be a little random and scattered. I will start with MSM stuff.
Last weeks AMP'd was packed out again. We had a record number of high school students. Bryan is doing a series called "Change we can really believe in." Wednesday night I wanted so badly to stand up and scream out an add on to his lesson. He was talking about respect and what it looks like to respect yourself and others. One thing that he mentioned was that girls can respect themselves in the way that they dress. A example that he gave was not showing cleavage. As he was wrapping up this point, I wanted so badly to scream out, "Keep your hands to yourself."
It is my guess that this is just a teenage thing, but I see so many kids who grope all over each other. Often times, I even see this in the middle of the service. There is one particular girl that I have sat behind or beside numerous times, and she won't keep her hands off of the boy next to her. She touches this guy and rubs on him in ways that only go on in the privacy of my own home. For some reason, teens seem to think that the more you touch someone the more you love them. I will admit, that I touch my husband much more (and of course in different ways) than I touch anyone else. The key word there is HUSBAND. As Bryan would say, I have a license to do that.
It breaks my heart to see that they have no concept of what real love and respect look like. It shows a whole lot more respect and love when you keep your hands to yourself. This makes me think about Taylor and Sara. I have had the blessing of spending time with and talking to both of them privately about their relationship. It only takes about a minute to see and understand how much they truly care about each other. The way that they talk about each other makes it more than obvious that they have the utmost respect for each other.
These two have been together for a few years and the extent of the physical relationship has been hugging. They made a commitment to each other and most importantly to God to keep their relationship pure. Taylor has committed to not kiss a girl until he is engaged to her. What an awesome commitment. This is true respect. Sara knows that he has and is saving himself for her and he knows the same about her. They have no regrets and if God were to put someone else in their lives, they will have no regrets creeping in and damaging the new relationships.
Unlike these two incredible young adults, many of our students do not live in homes where their parents have set this example for them. It is my prayer though, that they will see examples like Taylor and Sara and see how rewarding these choices can be. I am not foolish enough to think that every teen can or will make such firm commitments, but a least, they can learn to set some standards and stick to them. Despite what they seem to think, restraint is true measure of respect.
Last weeks AMP'd was packed out again. We had a record number of high school students. Bryan is doing a series called "Change we can really believe in." Wednesday night I wanted so badly to stand up and scream out an add on to his lesson. He was talking about respect and what it looks like to respect yourself and others. One thing that he mentioned was that girls can respect themselves in the way that they dress. A example that he gave was not showing cleavage. As he was wrapping up this point, I wanted so badly to scream out, "Keep your hands to yourself."
It is my guess that this is just a teenage thing, but I see so many kids who grope all over each other. Often times, I even see this in the middle of the service. There is one particular girl that I have sat behind or beside numerous times, and she won't keep her hands off of the boy next to her. She touches this guy and rubs on him in ways that only go on in the privacy of my own home. For some reason, teens seem to think that the more you touch someone the more you love them. I will admit, that I touch my husband much more (and of course in different ways) than I touch anyone else. The key word there is HUSBAND. As Bryan would say, I have a license to do that.
It breaks my heart to see that they have no concept of what real love and respect look like. It shows a whole lot more respect and love when you keep your hands to yourself. This makes me think about Taylor and Sara. I have had the blessing of spending time with and talking to both of them privately about their relationship. It only takes about a minute to see and understand how much they truly care about each other. The way that they talk about each other makes it more than obvious that they have the utmost respect for each other.
These two have been together for a few years and the extent of the physical relationship has been hugging. They made a commitment to each other and most importantly to God to keep their relationship pure. Taylor has committed to not kiss a girl until he is engaged to her. What an awesome commitment. This is true respect. Sara knows that he has and is saving himself for her and he knows the same about her. They have no regrets and if God were to put someone else in their lives, they will have no regrets creeping in and damaging the new relationships.
Unlike these two incredible young adults, many of our students do not live in homes where their parents have set this example for them. It is my prayer though, that they will see examples like Taylor and Sara and see how rewarding these choices can be. I am not foolish enough to think that every teen can or will make such firm commitments, but a least, they can learn to set some standards and stick to them. Despite what they seem to think, restraint is true measure of respect.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Perfection and Frustration: Doggone Blue Tape
People that know me, know that I am a bit of a perfectionist. This can pose a problem at my house sometimes, because Bryan and I do not share that quality. It drives me crazy to start a project and not complete it from start to finish. The bad thing is, I am a PERFECTIONIST. I want to see the project through and see it done correctly, but I don't always have the ability to do that. For instance:
Several months ago someone offered to paint our nursery for us. Bryan doesn't like to paint and I am no good at it, so we jumped at this offer. She worked for a few days and did a great job. The walls looked great. We then laid the new bamboo floor and had to purchase new closet doors. The wonderful volunteer came back and taped the closet door. She said that she would come back to finish it later. Well, I think she forgot. We greatly appreciate her help, so I didn't want to bug her about coming back. I have also been waiting for several months for a closet rod to be installed in the closet.
I decided that I had waited long enough and wanted to tackle the project this weekend. I am a terrible painter, so I avoid these projects. I always end up angry and more frustrated in the end because it didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. After I attempted to paint the doors with a paint brush, Bryan and I made our way to Lowe's. We got a small roller and closet rods. We came back and I jumped on it. I added another coat on Saturday morning and again Sunday night. Yesterday I painted the insets on the door and was sure they looked great.
Last night I took Bryan in to show him my work. I started pulling off a section of tape. (Let me preface this by saying that I used blue tape and green tape.) The first section was blue and the door was white under it, because it pulled the brown paint off! As we continued to pull, all of the blue tape pulled paint off. (The green tape did not.) The door looks terrible!!! I am so upset. My sweet husband said that he will fix it for me. He says that he can touch it up and it will look fine.
I guess this is one more strike against me painting. One more and I am out. If only that blue tape weren't so bad. Doggone blue tape!
Several months ago someone offered to paint our nursery for us. Bryan doesn't like to paint and I am no good at it, so we jumped at this offer. She worked for a few days and did a great job. The walls looked great. We then laid the new bamboo floor and had to purchase new closet doors. The wonderful volunteer came back and taped the closet door. She said that she would come back to finish it later. Well, I think she forgot. We greatly appreciate her help, so I didn't want to bug her about coming back. I have also been waiting for several months for a closet rod to be installed in the closet.
I decided that I had waited long enough and wanted to tackle the project this weekend. I am a terrible painter, so I avoid these projects. I always end up angry and more frustrated in the end because it didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. After I attempted to paint the doors with a paint brush, Bryan and I made our way to Lowe's. We got a small roller and closet rods. We came back and I jumped on it. I added another coat on Saturday morning and again Sunday night. Yesterday I painted the insets on the door and was sure they looked great.
Last night I took Bryan in to show him my work. I started pulling off a section of tape. (Let me preface this by saying that I used blue tape and green tape.) The first section was blue and the door was white under it, because it pulled the brown paint off! As we continued to pull, all of the blue tape pulled paint off. (The green tape did not.) The door looks terrible!!! I am so upset. My sweet husband said that he will fix it for me. He says that he can touch it up and it will look fine.
I guess this is one more strike against me painting. One more and I am out. If only that blue tape weren't so bad. Doggone blue tape!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Dang Tistal!
For the last few weeks we have been taking care of Bryan's cousin, Lee, on the weekends. Lee lives with his grandparents where he is one of 5 children in the home. They range from 7 years to 14 months. As I am sure that you can imagine, they have their hands full. It has been fun and we enjoy playing with and hanging out with Lee. Life with a three year old is a bit crazy! We have had a lot of fun with him and we are learning a lot about parenting.
Several friends have given us things to use for Lee (clothes, toys, car seats, etc.). One friend in particular gave us some matchbox cars that her son was no longer playing with. Lee loves monster trucks and motorcycles. It just so happened that there were several of these in the bunch. I put the cars in an IKEA basket (I love IKEA) and put them on the toy shelf. Saturday afternoon, I showed Lee the basket and he started pulling the cars out. I couldn't help but laugh when he said, "Dang Tistal, you got me some really cool stuff!"
Not exactly the choice of words I would have preferred, but funny none the less.
Slowly but surely Lee is starting to warm up to people at church. He finally played with and talked to some kids at church yesterday. Normally, he stays attached to me or Taylor. In the classroom he plays by himself. He played with other kids in the class and he even hugged another child unprovoked. My friend Beth has a son that is a few months older than Lee and we have been trying to get them together. Yesterday, Lee walked right up to Kayden and started tickling him and chasing him. They seemed to be having a great time. Hopefully this means I can get him to go to class with Kayden next week. Let's pray!
Brooke and Chris are still waiting for Dillen, so please continue to pray for them.
Several friends have given us things to use for Lee (clothes, toys, car seats, etc.). One friend in particular gave us some matchbox cars that her son was no longer playing with. Lee loves monster trucks and motorcycles. It just so happened that there were several of these in the bunch. I put the cars in an IKEA basket (I love IKEA) and put them on the toy shelf. Saturday afternoon, I showed Lee the basket and he started pulling the cars out. I couldn't help but laugh when he said, "Dang Tistal, you got me some really cool stuff!"
Not exactly the choice of words I would have preferred, but funny none the less.
Slowly but surely Lee is starting to warm up to people at church. He finally played with and talked to some kids at church yesterday. Normally, he stays attached to me or Taylor. In the classroom he plays by himself. He played with other kids in the class and he even hugged another child unprovoked. My friend Beth has a son that is a few months older than Lee and we have been trying to get them together. Yesterday, Lee walked right up to Kayden and started tickling him and chasing him. They seemed to be having a great time. Hopefully this means I can get him to go to class with Kayden next week. Let's pray!
Brooke and Chris are still waiting for Dillen, so please continue to pray for them.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Youth Ministry is Bittersweet
I just read a new post on Married to A Youth Pastor that I want to share.
Birthing a New Baby:
We have been “birthing” another baby at the Maguire home, one could say. Our church has been building a youth building for the past year or so, and it is finally open! It is bitter sweet for me to be honest. I know it is an amazing opportunity and most youth ministries across the nation do not have the support that we have from our church to invest LOTS of money into its students and a super fun building, with skate park included on our church campus (for real). I love it, and I love how already I can see how it has drawn unconnected students from our community to church that will hopefully become connected to a church family. It is awesome. But I do not love the late nights and long days that it has brought for Jeff. And I do not love that we have gone from one student service on the weekend to three. (Again, please hear my heart that I am excited to see how God is going to use this building and I love students and support my husband). But part of my reality is that I just had a real baby 4 weeks ago and I just wish God’s timing was to open this great thing a few months from now. Doesn’t THAT seem like perfect timing? Do I need to teach God a lesson in “perfect timing” again? I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the greatness at one time.
There is alway so much great stuff happening in youth ministry. Do you guys ever feel bittersweet about it?
This was my reply:
We, too, opened our new student building last week, so I feel your pain. For the last year I have had even less of my hubby. Even when we are together that is where his mind is. We also had to add more services. This is such an exciting time and I am pumped to see who God is going to bring us and how He is going to move. However, I do desperately want my husband back. With the new building comes new expectations from parents and students, but it didn’t come with more staff. It is still just Bryan to deal with the 200+ students and the programing that their families expect. Boy, ministry is such a blessing and a curse!
First of all, please hear my heart, I LOVE youth ministry and I LOVE Marathon. We are blessed to have a wonderful church family and we are even more blessed to have the opportunity to shape the lives of students. With that comes A LOT of sacrifices, much more than many people realize. It is so hard to find balance... I know that Bryan is called to this job and this church. I know that his heart is to give these students every opportunity to see and experience Christ in a real way. This means a lot of time out of the house and a lot of time away from me. Since we started the process to adopt this has been even more difficult for me. Every time he comes home late, every time he leaves early, I can't help but think how much more difficult that will be for all of us when our little buddy finally arrives.
As I wrote about last week, people are very quick to criticize Bryan and to tell him what he needs to do and what he should be doing. Recently someone even had the nerve to tell him that they are tired too, they spend just as much time at the church as he does. I hate to poo poo on your pity party, but that particular day he arrived at work at 9:00am left at 8:00pm and returned the next morning at 5:30am and stayed until 7:00pm. Two more 10 or 12 hour days followed and that doesn't include the 8 or 9 hours he put in on his day off. The 4 or 5 hours he laid brick that Saturday and the 6 hours on Sunday morning and the 2 hours at a high school Bible study that night.
I wish I could count on two hands the number of parents and students that have asked for more week night programs now that we are in the building. The building is beautiful and offers far more possibilities, but it didn't come with more money or more staff. Bryan wants to offer more. He would be there every night (and he was last week, literally!) if he had the choice. I am so blessed to have a pastor and associate pastor that support us and agree with me that this is not going to happen. I went to them and told them that I refuse to give up any more of my time with my husband. As selfish as that may seem, I don't feel bad and they support me. That is a huge blessing.
If Bryan starts a program, he feels obligated to be there, and right now he would have to be. We reach 200+ students every week and Bryan is the only full time staff. He has a part time administrative assistant and two interns. Unfortunately, the economy is not helping this any. There is no money to hire more people. Without volunteers, we can't do anything. If people really want these things to happen, they are going to have to step up.
Youth ministry is bittersweet, but there has to be some balance, and right now I am the voice of balance for my husband. Call me selfish if you will, but I love my husband and I will protect my time with him!
Birthing a New Baby:
We have been “birthing” another baby at the Maguire home, one could say. Our church has been building a youth building for the past year or so, and it is finally open! It is bitter sweet for me to be honest. I know it is an amazing opportunity and most youth ministries across the nation do not have the support that we have from our church to invest LOTS of money into its students and a super fun building, with skate park included on our church campus (for real). I love it, and I love how already I can see how it has drawn unconnected students from our community to church that will hopefully become connected to a church family. It is awesome. But I do not love the late nights and long days that it has brought for Jeff. And I do not love that we have gone from one student service on the weekend to three. (Again, please hear my heart that I am excited to see how God is going to use this building and I love students and support my husband). But part of my reality is that I just had a real baby 4 weeks ago and I just wish God’s timing was to open this great thing a few months from now. Doesn’t THAT seem like perfect timing? Do I need to teach God a lesson in “perfect timing” again? I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the greatness at one time.
There is alway so much great stuff happening in youth ministry. Do you guys ever feel bittersweet about it?
This was my reply:
We, too, opened our new student building last week, so I feel your pain. For the last year I have had even less of my hubby. Even when we are together that is where his mind is. We also had to add more services. This is such an exciting time and I am pumped to see who God is going to bring us and how He is going to move. However, I do desperately want my husband back. With the new building comes new expectations from parents and students, but it didn’t come with more staff. It is still just Bryan to deal with the 200+ students and the programing that their families expect. Boy, ministry is such a blessing and a curse!
First of all, please hear my heart, I LOVE youth ministry and I LOVE Marathon. We are blessed to have a wonderful church family and we are even more blessed to have the opportunity to shape the lives of students. With that comes A LOT of sacrifices, much more than many people realize. It is so hard to find balance... I know that Bryan is called to this job and this church. I know that his heart is to give these students every opportunity to see and experience Christ in a real way. This means a lot of time out of the house and a lot of time away from me. Since we started the process to adopt this has been even more difficult for me. Every time he comes home late, every time he leaves early, I can't help but think how much more difficult that will be for all of us when our little buddy finally arrives.
As I wrote about last week, people are very quick to criticize Bryan and to tell him what he needs to do and what he should be doing. Recently someone even had the nerve to tell him that they are tired too, they spend just as much time at the church as he does. I hate to poo poo on your pity party, but that particular day he arrived at work at 9:00am left at 8:00pm and returned the next morning at 5:30am and stayed until 7:00pm. Two more 10 or 12 hour days followed and that doesn't include the 8 or 9 hours he put in on his day off. The 4 or 5 hours he laid brick that Saturday and the 6 hours on Sunday morning and the 2 hours at a high school Bible study that night.
I wish I could count on two hands the number of parents and students that have asked for more week night programs now that we are in the building. The building is beautiful and offers far more possibilities, but it didn't come with more money or more staff. Bryan wants to offer more. He would be there every night (and he was last week, literally!) if he had the choice. I am so blessed to have a pastor and associate pastor that support us and agree with me that this is not going to happen. I went to them and told them that I refuse to give up any more of my time with my husband. As selfish as that may seem, I don't feel bad and they support me. That is a huge blessing.
If Bryan starts a program, he feels obligated to be there, and right now he would have to be. We reach 200+ students every week and Bryan is the only full time staff. He has a part time administrative assistant and two interns. Unfortunately, the economy is not helping this any. There is no money to hire more people. Without volunteers, we can't do anything. If people really want these things to happen, they are going to have to step up.
Youth ministry is bittersweet, but there has to be some balance, and right now I am the voice of balance for my husband. Call me selfish if you will, but I love my husband and I will protect my time with him!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Garage + AMP'd= Success!
Our first AMP'd in The Garage was last night. I think it is safe to say that it was a success! This was our first HS only service. We weren't really sure what to expect. We put out 200 chairs (max. capacity is a little over 400) because our normal Wednesday night crowd is about 220 with MS and HS. We had 234...you read that correctly 234 and only 6 or 7 of those were Middle Schoolers. We ran out of chairs and the adults were lining the walls. It was incredible! There were 18 first time guests and many students who had not been with us in a while. Bryan even let the band do a scream-o song to celebrate. I am not a fan, but the kids loved it and this is the only time that he has let them do it. I don't think (at least I hope not) that this will be a regular thing.
We weren't without a little drama, but that is where Officer Justin comes in handy. He cut that off quickly and things went smoothly from that point on. It seems crazy to have an officer at church, but he has helped us out and dissolved many situations quickly. Anytime you put a few hundred teenagers together you can never be too careful. It also takes some pressure off of our volunteers, because they know that he is there as a resource if they ever feel like something is more than they can deal with. The kids like him and he is good with our students. They seem to have a mutual respect for each other.
We do have one problem that keeps coming up over and over again. Maybe someone out there will have some suggestions. Every week we have kids that get dropped off and they have made no plan for how to get home. They seem to expect that one of the volunteers will take them home. One particular girl lives about 20 minutes away and is not close to (or even in the same direction) as any of our volunteers. After the same volunteer has taken her home every week for a month or more, the volunteer declined last night. The girl and her friend made no attempt to find another option. Both of them have cell phones. Justin did not offer them a ride and rightfully so. After they were the only kids left for a good 20 or 30 minutes, they asked Bryan to take them home.
I don't know about your area, but here IF you can find gas, it is not cheap. Again, that is IF you can find a station that actually has gas. On top of that, the church has a strict policy that staff members are not to transport people of the opposite sex without their spouse or another staff member. Since we don't ride together this wouldn't work. I don't know what finally happened, but the other kids had been gone an hour by the time these kids finally got a ride. We don't really know how to handle this, because we want the kids to come, but the church does not pay for gas for transporting kids. The only vehicle the church owns is a school bus. None of our volunteers is licensed to drive this bus and of course, I go back to the gas issue. Any suggestions?
We weren't without a little drama, but that is where Officer Justin comes in handy. He cut that off quickly and things went smoothly from that point on. It seems crazy to have an officer at church, but he has helped us out and dissolved many situations quickly. Anytime you put a few hundred teenagers together you can never be too careful. It also takes some pressure off of our volunteers, because they know that he is there as a resource if they ever feel like something is more than they can deal with. The kids like him and he is good with our students. They seem to have a mutual respect for each other.
We do have one problem that keeps coming up over and over again. Maybe someone out there will have some suggestions. Every week we have kids that get dropped off and they have made no plan for how to get home. They seem to expect that one of the volunteers will take them home. One particular girl lives about 20 minutes away and is not close to (or even in the same direction) as any of our volunteers. After the same volunteer has taken her home every week for a month or more, the volunteer declined last night. The girl and her friend made no attempt to find another option. Both of them have cell phones. Justin did not offer them a ride and rightfully so. After they were the only kids left for a good 20 or 30 minutes, they asked Bryan to take them home.
I don't know about your area, but here IF you can find gas, it is not cheap. Again, that is IF you can find a station that actually has gas. On top of that, the church has a strict policy that staff members are not to transport people of the opposite sex without their spouse or another staff member. Since we don't ride together this wouldn't work. I don't know what finally happened, but the other kids had been gone an hour by the time these kids finally got a ride. We don't really know how to handle this, because we want the kids to come, but the church does not pay for gas for transporting kids. The only vehicle the church owns is a school bus. None of our volunteers is licensed to drive this bus and of course, I go back to the gas issue. Any suggestions?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Beware of the bear
This may totally be a woman thing, but have you ever gone into Mama Bear mode? That is when you immediately jump on the defensive to protect someone you care about who is being attacked. This seems to be happening to me a lot lately.
For example, two years ago on mission trip there was a woman serving with another church who was extremely unpleasant. She had a sour look on her face the whole week. Several times she gave dirty looks to our students and made smart comments. One afternoon at lunch she went over the line and began to fuss at a group of our students. I was standing behind her the whole time and her complaints were completely unfounded. I went crazy! I wanted to let her have it. Those are my kids and they didn't deserve a moment of her hassling. It was all I could do to hold myself back from telling her off.
Almost immediately, I ran to Bryan and told him that he had better address it before I had a chance to. No matter how crazy my kids may get or how badly they might get on my nerves sometimes, they are mine and you better leave them alone. Don't get me wrong, I would have been the first one to correct them if they had been out of line. I don't have much tolerance for that.
Lately, attacks have been coming left and right. (I am well aware that we have ruffled Satan's feathers with all the progress that is being made in our student ministry.) I know that Bryan is a big boy, but that doesn't stop me from going into Mama Bear mode. There have been many personal attacks made on him and his methods of ministry. No, things aren't always the way they could be and they are not always the way that we want them to be, but he does the best he can. It infuriates me when people accuse him of not caring and not doing his part. No one sits at my house and listens to the hours he talks on the phone with students, parents, volunteers, and contractors. No one sits with him as he cries over the hurts that our students face. No one else puts aside everything in their life to deal with the newest crisis being faced by a student or family.
My husband puts his heart and soul into this ministry 24 hours a day. He never turns work off. He never steps away completely from the needs of his ministry. Yes, that is very frustrating at times, but I understand his heart. When my limited time with my husband is interrupted by phones calls from disgruntled people, I can't help but get angry.
Bryan is a worrier. He takes every comment and complaint to heart. It makes me so angry when he comes home and he can't get past that attacking conversation. This sends me into Mama Bear mode and I want to have my turn at the offender. I can take a lot when the attack is aimed at me, but back off when it comes to those I love.
I think this is the motherly instinct in me. It is a protective mechanism. This is one more thing that God is using to teach me about control. I can't be in control of everything and I have to use self control. This is a tough one for me. I am working on it, but in the mean time...BEWARE OF THE BEAR!
For example, two years ago on mission trip there was a woman serving with another church who was extremely unpleasant. She had a sour look on her face the whole week. Several times she gave dirty looks to our students and made smart comments. One afternoon at lunch she went over the line and began to fuss at a group of our students. I was standing behind her the whole time and her complaints were completely unfounded. I went crazy! I wanted to let her have it. Those are my kids and they didn't deserve a moment of her hassling. It was all I could do to hold myself back from telling her off.
Almost immediately, I ran to Bryan and told him that he had better address it before I had a chance to. No matter how crazy my kids may get or how badly they might get on my nerves sometimes, they are mine and you better leave them alone. Don't get me wrong, I would have been the first one to correct them if they had been out of line. I don't have much tolerance for that.
Lately, attacks have been coming left and right. (I am well aware that we have ruffled Satan's feathers with all the progress that is being made in our student ministry.) I know that Bryan is a big boy, but that doesn't stop me from going into Mama Bear mode. There have been many personal attacks made on him and his methods of ministry. No, things aren't always the way they could be and they are not always the way that we want them to be, but he does the best he can. It infuriates me when people accuse him of not caring and not doing his part. No one sits at my house and listens to the hours he talks on the phone with students, parents, volunteers, and contractors. No one sits with him as he cries over the hurts that our students face. No one else puts aside everything in their life to deal with the newest crisis being faced by a student or family.
My husband puts his heart and soul into this ministry 24 hours a day. He never turns work off. He never steps away completely from the needs of his ministry. Yes, that is very frustrating at times, but I understand his heart. When my limited time with my husband is interrupted by phones calls from disgruntled people, I can't help but get angry.
Bryan is a worrier. He takes every comment and complaint to heart. It makes me so angry when he comes home and he can't get past that attacking conversation. This sends me into Mama Bear mode and I want to have my turn at the offender. I can take a lot when the attack is aimed at me, but back off when it comes to those I love.
I think this is the motherly instinct in me. It is a protective mechanism. This is one more thing that God is using to teach me about control. I can't be in control of everything and I have to use self control. This is a tough one for me. I am working on it, but in the mean time...BEWARE OF THE BEAR!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
The Garage
Here are the long awaited photos of the Garage. Sorry, I had to wait until I had access to high speed Internet. (yes we still live in the dark ages!)
There are more pictures in my facebook album if you are interested.
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