Thursday, October 30, 2008

Pray hard for us this weekend!!!!!

People continue to ask us about our progress in the adoption process. The honest answer is... nothing. We haven't heard anything from DSS. The last contact was about 2 or 3 months ago when I called them. However, we have been approached by a family member who currently has custody of their grandchildren. They feel certain that the parents' rights will be terminated within the next couple of months. They will be unable to keep the 3 children and initially asked us to consider all 3. Now, they are asking us to consider 1 and have asked Bryan's sisters to consider the other 2.

This has been very heavy on my heart as God has not given me a peace about the situation. I don't feel that He has told us yes or no. This is a major step and a HUGE decision. We have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are making the right decision. Too many lives will be affected in major ways to make this decision lightly. Bryan has some reservations about the decision as well.

Brooke and I talked about the situation and she brought up a good point that made me think. She said, "This is not a puppy you are bringing home." She is so right. The last time we brought home a puppy, it never actually made it home with us. The dog obviously didn't like us and tried to run away. Belle didn't like the dog and it was obvious that it wasn't going to work. Thankfully, Chase and Casey fell in love with the dog and took her home. Baylor has been with them for 2 or 3 years now and wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Somehow, I don't think that I can send my child to live with Chase and Casey if things don't work out. This is a forever decision.

God has continued to put one thing after another in my face to make me question this decision. I desperately need some peace and clarity on this decision. We are going to try and take some time away so that we can focus on God and his leading in this decision.

On a side note, a family should be arriving in Vietnam today. This family is the one before Brooke and Chris, so they will be traveling next. Let's pray for little Dillen to be home (or at least with her parents) before her 1st birthday on Dec. 15.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I know it has been a while since my last post. Because it has been a while, the next few posts will be a little random and scattered. I will start with MSM stuff.

Last weeks AMP'd was packed out again. We had a record number of high school students. Bryan is doing a series called "Change we can really believe in." Wednesday night I wanted so badly to stand up and scream out an add on to his lesson. He was talking about respect and what it looks like to respect yourself and others. One thing that he mentioned was that girls can respect themselves in the way that they dress. A example that he gave was not showing cleavage. As he was wrapping up this point, I wanted so badly to scream out, "Keep your hands to yourself."

It is my guess that this is just a teenage thing, but I see so many kids who grope all over each other. Often times, I even see this in the middle of the service. There is one particular girl that I have sat behind or beside numerous times, and she won't keep her hands off of the boy next to her. She touches this guy and rubs on him in ways that only go on in the privacy of my own home. For some reason, teens seem to think that the more you touch someone the more you love them. I will admit, that I touch my husband much more (and of course in different ways) than I touch anyone else. The key word there is HUSBAND. As Bryan would say, I have a license to do that.

It breaks my heart to see that they have no concept of what real love and respect look like. It shows a whole lot more respect and love when you keep your hands to yourself. This makes me think about Taylor and Sara. I have had the blessing of spending time with and talking to both of them privately about their relationship. It only takes about a minute to see and understand how much they truly care about each other. The way that they talk about each other makes it more than obvious that they have the utmost respect for each other.

These two have been together for a few years and the extent of the physical relationship has been hugging. They made a commitment to each other and most importantly to God to keep their relationship pure. Taylor has committed to not kiss a girl until he is engaged to her. What an awesome commitment. This is true respect. Sara knows that he has and is saving himself for her and he knows the same about her. They have no regrets and if God were to put someone else in their lives, they will have no regrets creeping in and damaging the new relationships.

Unlike these two incredible young adults, many of our students do not live in homes where their parents have set this example for them. It is my prayer though, that they will see examples like Taylor and Sara and see how rewarding these choices can be. I am not foolish enough to think that every teen can or will make such firm commitments, but a least, they can learn to set some standards and stick to them. Despite what they seem to think, restraint is true measure of respect.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Perfection and Frustration: Doggone Blue Tape

People that know me, know that I am a bit of a perfectionist. This can pose a problem at my house sometimes, because Bryan and I do not share that quality. It drives me crazy to start a project and not complete it from start to finish. The bad thing is, I am a PERFECTIONIST. I want to see the project through and see it done correctly, but I don't always have the ability to do that. For instance:

Several months ago someone offered to paint our nursery for us. Bryan doesn't like to paint and I am no good at it, so we jumped at this offer. She worked for a few days and did a great job. The walls looked great. We then laid the new bamboo floor and had to purchase new closet doors. The wonderful volunteer came back and taped the closet door. She said that she would come back to finish it later. Well, I think she forgot. We greatly appreciate her help, so I didn't want to bug her about coming back. I have also been waiting for several months for a closet rod to be installed in the closet.

I decided that I had waited long enough and wanted to tackle the project this weekend. I am a terrible painter, so I avoid these projects. I always end up angry and more frustrated in the end because it didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. After I attempted to paint the doors with a paint brush, Bryan and I made our way to Lowe's. We got a small roller and closet rods. We came back and I jumped on it. I added another coat on Saturday morning and again Sunday night. Yesterday I painted the insets on the door and was sure they looked great.

Last night I took Bryan in to show him my work. I started pulling off a section of tape. (Let me preface this by saying that I used blue tape and green tape.) The first section was blue and the door was white under it, because it pulled the brown paint off! As we continued to pull, all of the blue tape pulled paint off. (The green tape did not.) The door looks terrible!!! I am so upset. My sweet husband said that he will fix it for me. He says that he can touch it up and it will look fine.

I guess this is one more strike against me painting. One more and I am out. If only that blue tape weren't so bad. Doggone blue tape!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Dang Tistal!

For the last few weeks we have been taking care of Bryan's cousin, Lee, on the weekends. Lee lives with his grandparents where he is one of 5 children in the home. They range from 7 years to 14 months. As I am sure that you can imagine, they have their hands full. It has been fun and we enjoy playing with and hanging out with Lee. Life with a three year old is a bit crazy! We have had a lot of fun with him and we are learning a lot about parenting.

Several friends have given us things to use for Lee (clothes, toys, car seats, etc.). One friend in particular gave us some matchbox cars that her son was no longer playing with. Lee loves monster trucks and motorcycles. It just so happened that there were several of these in the bunch. I put the cars in an IKEA basket (I love IKEA) and put them on the toy shelf. Saturday afternoon, I showed Lee the basket and he started pulling the cars out. I couldn't help but laugh when he said, "Dang Tistal, you got me some really cool stuff!"

Not exactly the choice of words I would have preferred, but funny none the less.

Slowly but surely Lee is starting to warm up to people at church. He finally played with and talked to some kids at church yesterday. Normally, he stays attached to me or Taylor. In the classroom he plays by himself. He played with other kids in the class and he even hugged another child unprovoked. My friend Beth has a son that is a few months older than Lee and we have been trying to get them together. Yesterday, Lee walked right up to Kayden and started tickling him and chasing him. They seemed to be having a great time. Hopefully this means I can get him to go to class with Kayden next week. Let's pray!

Brooke and Chris are still waiting for Dillen, so please continue to pray for them.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Youth Ministry is Bittersweet

I just read a new post on Married to A Youth Pastor that I want to share.

Birthing a New Baby:

We have been “birthing” another baby at the Maguire home, one could say. Our church has been building a youth building for the past year or so, and it is finally open! It is bitter sweet for me to be honest. I know it is an amazing opportunity and most youth ministries across the nation do not have the support that we have from our church to invest LOTS of money into its students and a super fun building, with skate park included on our church campus (for real). I love it, and I love how already I can see how it has drawn unconnected students from our community to church that will hopefully become connected to a church family. It is awesome. But I do not love the late nights and long days that it has brought for Jeff. And I do not love that we have gone from one student service on the weekend to three. (Again, please hear my heart that I am excited to see how God is going to use this building and I love students and support my husband). But part of my reality is that I just had a real baby 4 weeks ago and I just wish God’s timing was to open this great thing a few months from now. Doesn’t THAT seem like perfect timing? Do I need to teach God a lesson in “perfect timing” again? I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the greatness at one time.
There is alway so much great stuff happening in youth ministry. Do you guys ever feel bittersweet about it?



This was my reply:

We, too, opened our new student building last week, so I feel your pain. For the last year I have had even less of my hubby. Even when we are together that is where his mind is. We also had to add more services. This is such an exciting time and I am pumped to see who God is going to bring us and how He is going to move. However, I do desperately want my husband back. With the new building comes new expectations from parents and students, but it didn’t come with more staff. It is still just Bryan to deal with the 200+ students and the programing that their families expect. Boy, ministry is such a blessing and a curse!


First of all, please hear my heart, I LOVE youth ministry and I LOVE Marathon. We are blessed to have a wonderful church family and we are even more blessed to have the opportunity to shape the lives of students. With that comes A LOT of sacrifices, much more than many people realize. It is so hard to find balance... I know that Bryan is called to this job and this church. I know that his heart is to give these students every opportunity to see and experience Christ in a real way. This means a lot of time out of the house and a lot of time away from me. Since we started the process to adopt this has been even more difficult for me. Every time he comes home late, every time he leaves early, I can't help but think how much more difficult that will be for all of us when our little buddy finally arrives.

As I wrote about last week, people are very quick to criticize Bryan and to tell him what he needs to do and what he should be doing. Recently someone even had the nerve to tell him that they are tired too, they spend just as much time at the church as he does. I hate to poo poo on your pity party, but that particular day he arrived at work at 9:00am left at 8:00pm and returned the next morning at 5:30am and stayed until 7:00pm. Two more 10 or 12 hour days followed and that doesn't include the 8 or 9 hours he put in on his day off. The 4 or 5 hours he laid brick that Saturday and the 6 hours on Sunday morning and the 2 hours at a high school Bible study that night.

I wish I could count on two hands the number of parents and students that have asked for more week night programs now that we are in the building. The building is beautiful and offers far more possibilities, but it didn't come with more money or more staff. Bryan wants to offer more. He would be there every night (and he was last week, literally!) if he had the choice. I am so blessed to have a pastor and associate pastor that support us and agree with me that this is not going to happen. I went to them and told them that I refuse to give up any more of my time with my husband. As selfish as that may seem, I don't feel bad and they support me. That is a huge blessing.

If Bryan starts a program, he feels obligated to be there, and right now he would have to be. We reach 200+ students every week and Bryan is the only full time staff. He has a part time administrative assistant and two interns. Unfortunately, the economy is not helping this any. There is no money to hire more people. Without volunteers, we can't do anything. If people really want these things to happen, they are going to have to step up.

Youth ministry is bittersweet, but there has to be some balance, and right now I am the voice of balance for my husband. Call me selfish if you will, but I love my husband and I will protect my time with him!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Garage + AMP'd= Success!

Our first AMP'd in The Garage was last night. I think it is safe to say that it was a success! This was our first HS only service. We weren't really sure what to expect. We put out 200 chairs (max. capacity is a little over 400) because our normal Wednesday night crowd is about 220 with MS and HS. We had 234...you read that correctly 234 and only 6 or 7 of those were Middle Schoolers. We ran out of chairs and the adults were lining the walls. It was incredible! There were 18 first time guests and many students who had not been with us in a while. Bryan even let the band do a scream-o song to celebrate. I am not a fan, but the kids loved it and this is the only time that he has let them do it. I don't think (at least I hope not) that this will be a regular thing.

We weren't without a little drama, but that is where Officer Justin comes in handy. He cut that off quickly and things went smoothly from that point on. It seems crazy to have an officer at church, but he has helped us out and dissolved many situations quickly. Anytime you put a few hundred teenagers together you can never be too careful. It also takes some pressure off of our volunteers, because they know that he is there as a resource if they ever feel like something is more than they can deal with. The kids like him and he is good with our students. They seem to have a mutual respect for each other.

We do have one problem that keeps coming up over and over again. Maybe someone out there will have some suggestions. Every week we have kids that get dropped off and they have made no plan for how to get home. They seem to expect that one of the volunteers will take them home. One particular girl lives about 20 minutes away and is not close to (or even in the same direction) as any of our volunteers. After the same volunteer has taken her home every week for a month or more, the volunteer declined last night. The girl and her friend made no attempt to find another option. Both of them have cell phones. Justin did not offer them a ride and rightfully so. After they were the only kids left for a good 20 or 30 minutes, they asked Bryan to take them home.

I don't know about your area, but here IF you can find gas, it is not cheap. Again, that is IF you can find a station that actually has gas. On top of that, the church has a strict policy that staff members are not to transport people of the opposite sex without their spouse or another staff member. Since we don't ride together this wouldn't work. I don't know what finally happened, but the other kids had been gone an hour by the time these kids finally got a ride. We don't really know how to handle this, because we want the kids to come, but the church does not pay for gas for transporting kids. The only vehicle the church owns is a school bus. None of our volunteers is licensed to drive this bus and of course, I go back to the gas issue. Any suggestions?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Beware of the bear

This may totally be a woman thing, but have you ever gone into Mama Bear mode? That is when you immediately jump on the defensive to protect someone you care about who is being attacked. This seems to be happening to me a lot lately.

For example, two years ago on mission trip there was a woman serving with another church who was extremely unpleasant. She had a sour look on her face the whole week. Several times she gave dirty looks to our students and made smart comments. One afternoon at lunch she went over the line and began to fuss at a group of our students. I was standing behind her the whole time and her complaints were completely unfounded. I went crazy! I wanted to let her have it. Those are my kids and they didn't deserve a moment of her hassling. It was all I could do to hold myself back from telling her off.

Almost immediately, I ran to Bryan and told him that he had better address it before I had a chance to. No matter how crazy my kids may get or how badly they might get on my nerves sometimes, they are mine and you better leave them alone. Don't get me wrong, I would have been the first one to correct them if they had been out of line. I don't have much tolerance for that.

Lately, attacks have been coming left and right. (I am well aware that we have ruffled Satan's feathers with all the progress that is being made in our student ministry.) I know that Bryan is a big boy, but that doesn't stop me from going into Mama Bear mode. There have been many personal attacks made on him and his methods of ministry. No, things aren't always the way they could be and they are not always the way that we want them to be, but he does the best he can. It infuriates me when people accuse him of not caring and not doing his part. No one sits at my house and listens to the hours he talks on the phone with students, parents, volunteers, and contractors. No one sits with him as he cries over the hurts that our students face. No one else puts aside everything in their life to deal with the newest crisis being faced by a student or family.

My husband puts his heart and soul into this ministry 24 hours a day. He never turns work off. He never steps away completely from the needs of his ministry. Yes, that is very frustrating at times, but I understand his heart. When my limited time with my husband is interrupted by phones calls from disgruntled people, I can't help but get angry.

Bryan is a worrier. He takes every comment and complaint to heart. It makes me so angry when he comes home and he can't get past that attacking conversation. This sends me into Mama Bear mode and I want to have my turn at the offender. I can take a lot when the attack is aimed at me, but back off when it comes to those I love.

I think this is the motherly instinct in me. It is a protective mechanism. This is one more thing that God is using to teach me about control. I can't be in control of everything and I have to use self control. This is a tough one for me. I am working on it, but in the mean time...BEWARE OF THE BEAR!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Garage

Here are the long awaited photos of the Garage. Sorry, I had to wait until I had access to high speed Internet. (yes we still live in the dark ages!)











There are more pictures in my facebook album if you are interested.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Opening Day

After 3 long years of waiting on God's perfect timing, the day is finally here. The grand opening of the Garage is tonight. The last couple of weeks have been long, especially the last couple of days. I joined the guys on Thursday and spent most of my day working in the Garage. Yesterday Bryan and I arrived at 9:30 am and left at 11:00pm. It was a really long day, but the place looked great when we left.

This is an exciting time for our student ministry! The Garage represents the love and commitment of many many people. Many people have given their time and money over the last three years to make this a reality. They believe with us, that this can be a tool to get students in the door. Once they are inside, it gives us the opportunity to show them the love of Christ and change their lives forever.

Tonight's open house is from 5-7 and we will be serving ice cream. Come and check it out! Tomorrow we will have folks hanging out and answering questions during the services. Our first official service in the Garage will be Wednesday. AMP'd is now for High School students only and begins at 7:07pm. Next Sunday will be our first Ignition service for Middle School students at 11:30. Hope to see you then!

I will add some pictures later today. My dial-up connection makes this next to impossible.