Adoption is a calling. Orphan care is a command. The Lord tells us in several scriptures that caring for orphans is the responsibility of Christians. There are a lot of ways to care for orphans, adoption is not the only way. Everyone can support orphans, but not everyone can adopt. As I continue reading Seeds of Change, some scriptures have taken on a new meaning to me.
Isaiah 45:3 And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness-secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.
He calls us all by name, even orphans. He calls us by name when He calls us to Himself. He calls us by name when He calls us to care for orphans. He called Bryan and I by name and when He called us to join Him in the miracle of adoption. One evening in my car at a red light beside Concord Baptist Church, He clearly spoke to me and called me into this journey. It was a few years later, but sitting in a chair at Marathon, He clearly spoke to Bryan and he joined me on this journey.
Luke 12:48 From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded. And from the one trusted with much, much more will be expected.
He has given us so much, but as the scripture says, much has been demanded of us. At this point in our journey, we have had lengthy paperwork, inspections, and interviews demanded of us. We have also had patience demanded of us. It has been demanded that I give up control and take a back seat to God. God has trusted us to join Him on this journey and to follow His leading along the way. We know that this is just the beginning of the expectations and demands. It is also the beginning of the gifts.
We know that He is with us on this journey and we have many hidden treasures yet to come. I am most looking forward to the day I hold my hidden treasure in my arms!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I'm Rich!
No, I didn't win the lottery, I didn't receive an inheritance, and I didn't finally land that awesome movie role. So how did I become rich? The truth is I always have been. Our pastor, Eddie Cox, has been doing a series called How To Be Rich. Once you put things in the right perspective, you realize that we are all rich. Eddie said several times that rich people go out places to eat. They look at a list of choices and tell someone else what to cook for them. When the food is cooked, someone else serves it to them. Honestly, how many times this week or month have you eaten out? That is just one mark of wealth.
We are rich in so many other ways too. Today, as I sat around observing my family, I saw many more riches. The house, the food, the warmth, our nice clothes, our gadgets, our love, and most importantly, our memories. Looking at my cousin Dustin and his bushy red beard reminded me of all the times that he reassured me that there was a guy out there for me. There was no need to lower my standards. I thought of the major spanking (this probably qualified as a whooping) that I got for biting him. This was one of the many valuable lessons he helped me learn about dealing with people that frustrate or aggravate you.
I sat by my cousin Brant at the counter and thought of all the times he has been a shoulder to lean on and a hand to hold. Especially the day we sat in the funeral home making the arrangements for my Granddaddy's funeral. It goes without saying that I will never forget all the pushing to meet his youth pastor who happens to now be my husband. Probably the most special memory is walking down the aisle at my wedding and seeing him standing there at the altar when he was supposed to be in Cape Cod.
Where do I start with my Grandma? There are not many memories that she is not a part of. She is an incredible woman and has done so much for me. I love her more than I could ever explain and I will never be able to thank her enough.
It was such a blessing to walk into my aunt and uncle's house and see how wonderful he looks. He has been struggling with pancreatic cancer for couple of years. To think of all the pop tarts they fed me as a kid, all the Easter eggs I died at their house, the emergency room visits, and all the seventeen magazines read is a little overwhelming.
I will sum it up in saying that I am blessed! Many would look at my life and my family situation and wonder how I feel blessed. God has been so good to me. Though my parents are not a part of my life (and haven't been for most of my life), I have the best family ever. They love me and have made every effort to give me the things that I need and show me how to love. They have been Jesus to me. I am much more than blessed, I am RICH!!!
We are rich in so many other ways too. Today, as I sat around observing my family, I saw many more riches. The house, the food, the warmth, our nice clothes, our gadgets, our love, and most importantly, our memories. Looking at my cousin Dustin and his bushy red beard reminded me of all the times that he reassured me that there was a guy out there for me. There was no need to lower my standards. I thought of the major spanking (this probably qualified as a whooping) that I got for biting him. This was one of the many valuable lessons he helped me learn about dealing with people that frustrate or aggravate you.
I sat by my cousin Brant at the counter and thought of all the times he has been a shoulder to lean on and a hand to hold. Especially the day we sat in the funeral home making the arrangements for my Granddaddy's funeral. It goes without saying that I will never forget all the pushing to meet his youth pastor who happens to now be my husband. Probably the most special memory is walking down the aisle at my wedding and seeing him standing there at the altar when he was supposed to be in Cape Cod.
Where do I start with my Grandma? There are not many memories that she is not a part of. She is an incredible woman and has done so much for me. I love her more than I could ever explain and I will never be able to thank her enough.
It was such a blessing to walk into my aunt and uncle's house and see how wonderful he looks. He has been struggling with pancreatic cancer for couple of years. To think of all the pop tarts they fed me as a kid, all the Easter eggs I died at their house, the emergency room visits, and all the seventeen magazines read is a little overwhelming.
I will sum it up in saying that I am blessed! Many would look at my life and my family situation and wonder how I feel blessed. God has been so good to me. Though my parents are not a part of my life (and haven't been for most of my life), I have the best family ever. They love me and have made every effort to give me the things that I need and show me how to love. They have been Jesus to me. I am much more than blessed, I am RICH!!!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Open the Eyes of My Heart
As I have continued reading Seeds of Change another story stood out to me that I want to share. Steven Curtis Chapman shares that while worshiping in China he was singing the song Open the Eyes of My Heart. As he sang the words, "open the eyes of my heart Lord... I want to see you" he was also praying those very words. God spoke to Him and said, "Open your eyes, I am right in front of you." When he opened his eyes he saw that an orphan girl had crawled into his guitar case and was staring up at him.
You couldn't ask for a more real picture of Christ. He tells us over and over again that His heart is for the poor, needy, and orphaned.
This story reminded me of a scripture that I came across this weekend. Job 42:5 says, "My ears had heard of you before, but now my eyes have seen you." I agree with John Piper's statement, "Adoption is the visible gospel." This scripture proves that. Not only do we see Christ in these orphans, these orphans see Christ in us when we follow His command to care for them. This beautiful cycle is truly the gospel in action!
You couldn't ask for a more real picture of Christ. He tells us over and over again that His heart is for the poor, needy, and orphaned.
This story reminded me of a scripture that I came across this weekend. Job 42:5 says, "My ears had heard of you before, but now my eyes have seen you." I agree with John Piper's statement, "Adoption is the visible gospel." This scripture proves that. Not only do we see Christ in these orphans, these orphans see Christ in us when we follow His command to care for them. This beautiful cycle is truly the gospel in action!
An Unsafe Journey
I recently purchased a devotional book from Show Hope. The book is called Seeds of Change. Sunday night I started reading the book and a few things have stood out to me. Steven Curtis Chapman wrote the first entry. In it, he talks about how God is inviting us to join Him in caring for orphans. We know that God is going to care for them whether we take part or not. Just like anything in our lives, He is always in control and His plan will always come to fruition. We can get on board and be a part of the blessing or idly stand by and miss what He has in store for us.
SCC says that God was saying to him, "I'm going to provide for these children, but I want to invite you to be a part of that. I'm going to glorify Myself through this." He goes on to say, "There is nothing safe about God's invitation. All adventures carry with them some level of excitement and hazard, and we cannot remain safe and comfortable and still go on a God-sized adventure. But God doesn't call us to be safe, He calls us to be bold and courageous, and we can trust that even our safety will be taken care of by the One who invites us to to bravely step out in faith. As C.S. Lewis says in the Chronicles of Narnia when speaking of Aslan, 'Of course He isn't safe, but He is good.'"
This journey isn't easy and sometimes it doesn't feel safe. My friend Brooke would probably be the first to testify to that. The financial risks that they have taken to add Dillen to their family certainly have not felt safe or probably smart. For us it has felt unsafe in that some of my family has not given us the reaction that we expected. They made it pretty clear that they didn't support our decision and that our child would not really be a part of the family. That broke my heart and made me angry! It doesn't seem safe to completely change our lives and routines by going from two adults to caring for two adults and a small child. It is scary to think how our marriage may change. Though it doesn't seem safe, I can't help but think that nothing worth having has ever been easy.
Here's to be unsafe!
SCC says that God was saying to him, "I'm going to provide for these children, but I want to invite you to be a part of that. I'm going to glorify Myself through this." He goes on to say, "There is nothing safe about God's invitation. All adventures carry with them some level of excitement and hazard, and we cannot remain safe and comfortable and still go on a God-sized adventure. But God doesn't call us to be safe, He calls us to be bold and courageous, and we can trust that even our safety will be taken care of by the One who invites us to to bravely step out in faith. As C.S. Lewis says in the Chronicles of Narnia when speaking of Aslan, 'Of course He isn't safe, but He is good.'"
This journey isn't easy and sometimes it doesn't feel safe. My friend Brooke would probably be the first to testify to that. The financial risks that they have taken to add Dillen to their family certainly have not felt safe or probably smart. For us it has felt unsafe in that some of my family has not given us the reaction that we expected. They made it pretty clear that they didn't support our decision and that our child would not really be a part of the family. That broke my heart and made me angry! It doesn't seem safe to completely change our lives and routines by going from two adults to caring for two adults and a small child. It is scary to think how our marriage may change. Though it doesn't seem safe, I can't help but think that nothing worth having has ever been easy.
Here's to be unsafe!
Friday, November 21, 2008
More Thoughts on Act Now
* Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
You may not be called to adopt but that doesn't mean you aren't called to act (James 1:27). If we as the church would act, we could do away with the world's orphan problem. The number of Christians in our world out number the number of orphans in our world. We could single-handedly wipe the problem of orphans. Just one church could make a dent in it's county's orphan population. Aside from bringing them into your home, you can hold fundraisers and give of your own time and resources. You can support your local adoptive/foster families, children's homes, and missionaries working with orphans.
Many people feel like they can't make a difference, but you can. I will say it again, YES, You Can! Here is some inspiration:
*I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. -Edward Everett Hale
*We cannot do great things, only small things with great love. -Mother Teresa
Not only will your action make a difference in the life of an orphan, you bless the heart of God. When we bless God, He pours the blessing back on us ten fold!
*You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. - 2 Corinthians 9:11
*Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9
Can we really make a difference? Bob the Builder said it best, "Yes we can!"
You may not be called to adopt but that doesn't mean you aren't called to act (James 1:27). If we as the church would act, we could do away with the world's orphan problem. The number of Christians in our world out number the number of orphans in our world. We could single-handedly wipe the problem of orphans. Just one church could make a dent in it's county's orphan population. Aside from bringing them into your home, you can hold fundraisers and give of your own time and resources. You can support your local adoptive/foster families, children's homes, and missionaries working with orphans.
Many people feel like they can't make a difference, but you can. I will say it again, YES, You Can! Here is some inspiration:
*I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. -Edward Everett Hale
*We cannot do great things, only small things with great love. -Mother Teresa
Not only will your action make a difference in the life of an orphan, you bless the heart of God. When we bless God, He pours the blessing back on us ten fold!
*You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. - 2 Corinthians 9:11
*Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:9
Can we really make a difference? Bob the Builder said it best, "Yes we can!"
Thoughts on Adoption
I got a package in the mail from Show Hope yesterday. I haven't been this excited about the mail in a long time. We ordered a devotional book and some of their general brochures. Of course, I tore into the padded envelope and began reading. Several quotes and scriptures used in the Act Now book stood out to me.
Since this is adoption awareness month, I want to share them with you. Maybe just maybe, this will spark your thoughts too. Hopefully it will inspire you to Act Now and do something for orphans.
* "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute." Proverbs 31:8
This verse came to life to me last night. Bryan and I were watching a documentary on The Military Channel. They were following Marines in Iraq. This particular company was doing some police/investigation work in a province. They went from house to house seeking info about insurgents. One house that they came to had two pre teen girls living in it. One of the Marines was nearly in tears explaining how these girls were living. They were both special needs children and were lying in the floor in their own feces and only partially clothed. He demanded the man remove the girls. After they were brought outside, he demanded that the man clean them up, clothe them, and feed them. He told him that they would return later in the day to make sure that this was done. The girls could not speak, someone had to speak up for them. Thank God for that Marine!
*"Prayer does not equip us for greater works- prayer is the greater work." -Oswald Chambers
Maybe you don't feel the call to bring orphans into your home. You can do something- PRAY! Pray that these children are provided for while waiting. Pray for families to be open to God's call to adopt. Pray for the people that care for them in the meantime (foster parents, social workers, missionaries, orphanage staff, etc).
The thoughts don't stop here, so check back soon.
Since this is adoption awareness month, I want to share them with you. Maybe just maybe, this will spark your thoughts too. Hopefully it will inspire you to Act Now and do something for orphans.
* "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute." Proverbs 31:8
This verse came to life to me last night. Bryan and I were watching a documentary on The Military Channel. They were following Marines in Iraq. This particular company was doing some police/investigation work in a province. They went from house to house seeking info about insurgents. One house that they came to had two pre teen girls living in it. One of the Marines was nearly in tears explaining how these girls were living. They were both special needs children and were lying in the floor in their own feces and only partially clothed. He demanded the man remove the girls. After they were brought outside, he demanded that the man clean them up, clothe them, and feed them. He told him that they would return later in the day to make sure that this was done. The girls could not speak, someone had to speak up for them. Thank God for that Marine!
*"Prayer does not equip us for greater works- prayer is the greater work." -Oswald Chambers
Maybe you don't feel the call to bring orphans into your home. You can do something- PRAY! Pray that these children are provided for while waiting. Pray for families to be open to God's call to adopt. Pray for the people that care for them in the meantime (foster parents, social workers, missionaries, orphanage staff, etc).
The thoughts don't stop here, so check back soon.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Prayers for Dillen
This morning I opened up laptop and logged on to my blogger dashboard. At the bottom of my page are all the updates to the blogs that I follow. I am always excited to see anything from my dear friend Brooke. You may recognize her name, I frequently ask you to pray for she and Chris as they await the arrival of their precious daughter Dillen.
Dillen was born on Dec. 15, 2007. They have been waiting to bring her home since late Dec. 07 or Jan. 08. Dillen is the second referral that they received from their agency. When they were within a few weeks of possibly traveling to bring Sophia home, they got word that she was not legally available for adoption. They would not be allowed to adopt her. They soon received the referral for Dillen. Several families have travelled to Vietnam and sent pictures back of this beautiful little girl. I have been lucky enough to have Brooke share most of them with me.
There have been many, many set backs along the way for Brooke and Chris. Most of these problems have been caused by their adoption agency. The agency has been very vague about many things. At other times, many times, they have just not communicated with Brooke at all. This has been very frustrating and heart breaking. Not only have Brooke and Chris spent tens of thousands of dollars with this agency, they have invested a lot of time in the process. Most importantly, they have given their hearts to this precious child. Everyday, she grows and changes and misses the opportunity to be loved and nurtured by her family.
I can not imagine the emotions that they have experienced with each set back. It has broken my heart and brought me to tears every time. It breaks my heart to see the hurt and disappointment in Brooke's face when she shares the latest news. This morning that happened again as I read her blog. Though I don't know the details, there seems to be another set back.
I hurt so badly for them and for Dillen! To some extent, I understand, as we have had many emotions in our own waiting process. It is completely different in the sense that we don't know who we are waiting on. There is no precious face that we see growing and changing with each new set of photos. It is still my prayer that Dillen will be with her family on her up coming birthday. Even if they are not home, I pray that they will be together in the baby home.
Please pray for Brooke, Chris, and Dillen. I have grown to love this child I have never met, so I can't imagine how they must feel. Brooke has been amazing through all of this. She takes each set back in stride and pushes through. She has been an excellent example of strength and grace. As tough as this is, I know that God is STILL in control. I am praying for His peace and strength for her. Pray friends, pray!
Monday, November 17, 2008
It's Monday!!!
Well, it's Monday. You know what that means... madness ensues! I had a great weekend with a trip to IKEA (always a good thing) and dinner with the fam. The Monday madness came early though. I have been having trouble sleeping for a long time, but the last month it has been really bad. 11:00 comes and goes, as does 12 and 1, and I am still wide awake. It has been about 2 before I have forced myself to get in the bed. That didn't happen until 3 this morning and I still laid in the bed wide awake for a long time. The alarm went off at 8 for Bryan to get up and I got up with him.
I left around 12:30 to run errands before coming to work. One stop was at Hobby Lobby where the blunder of the day happened. I am a bit obsessive about where I park. If at all possible, I park in the same row every time so that I can find the car easily. Well, lets just say that backfired on me today. As I walk into the Hobby Lobby parking lot, I see my car and hit the button on my key chain. I didn't hear the door unlock, so I hit the button again. By that time I am beside the car, so I pull the handle. The door doesn't open so I hit the button again and still the door doesn't unlock.
As I stand there looking in the window I thought that something didn't seem right. It wasn't my car!!! My car was about three spots down. Thank goodness the owner didn't see me and come after me. I was a bit embarrassed. Oh well, it's Monday and those things happen.
I left around 12:30 to run errands before coming to work. One stop was at Hobby Lobby where the blunder of the day happened. I am a bit obsessive about where I park. If at all possible, I park in the same row every time so that I can find the car easily. Well, lets just say that backfired on me today. As I walk into the Hobby Lobby parking lot, I see my car and hit the button on my key chain. I didn't hear the door unlock, so I hit the button again. By that time I am beside the car, so I pull the handle. The door doesn't open so I hit the button again and still the door doesn't unlock.
As I stand there looking in the window I thought that something didn't seem right. It wasn't my car!!! My car was about three spots down. Thank goodness the owner didn't see me and come after me. I was a bit embarrassed. Oh well, it's Monday and those things happen.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
What happens to Foster Kids?
Challenges facing waiting children in the U.S.
» Each year, an estimated 20,000 young people in the U.S. foster-care system turn 18 and are turned away from further support and services.
» What happens to young people who are removed from foster care after turning 18?
54% Earned a high school diploma
2% Obtained a Bachelor's degree or higher
51% Were unemployed
30% Had no health insurance
25% Had been homeless
30% Were receiving public assistance
» 30 percent of all U.S. homeless adults have spent time in the foster care system.
» 60 percent of young women had children within four years after leaving foster care.
Statistics From: CryoftheOrphan.com
» Each year, an estimated 20,000 young people in the U.S. foster-care system turn 18 and are turned away from further support and services.
» What happens to young people who are removed from foster care after turning 18?
54% Earned a high school diploma
2% Obtained a Bachelor's degree or higher
51% Were unemployed
30% Had no health insurance
25% Had been homeless
30% Were receiving public assistance
» 30 percent of all U.S. homeless adults have spent time in the foster care system.
» 60 percent of young women had children within four years after leaving foster care.
Statistics From: CryoftheOrphan.com
If the Biblical command in James 1:27 (along with many other Biblical references to orphans and adoption) are not enough to stir you, consider this: As a part of the foster care system, your tax dollars are paying for the day to day living expenses of these children. If you are going to support these children, why not do it from start to finish and insure that they are being properly cared for and being introduced to the love of Christ. Care for them personally! I know that everyone is not in the position to bring a child into their home, but most of us can offer our time by volunteering or raising awareness about foster care.
More Adoption Info
November is Adoption Awareness Month. Here are some statistics that may surprise you about adoption. If you have ever considered adoption or foster care, now is the perfect time to get more information. You will never know if it is for you until you take the first step and get more info. I would be glad to point you in the right direction! Also, you can check out Cry of the Orphan for info. Every child deserves a family for the holidays!
Global Orphans
*Over 130 million orphans and waiting children under the age of 18 have lost one or both parents.i
*Over 13 million double orphans under the age of 18 have lost both parents.ii
*Sub-Saharan Africa, with 48.3 million orphans, has the highest proportion of children who are orphans at 12%
*Asia has the largest total number of orphans with 73.7 million orphans, which represents 6% of all children
*Latin America and the Caribbean has 10.7 million orphans, also representing 6% of all children.iii
*Over 15 million children have lost a parent due to AIDS, and that number is expected to rise to over 20 million by 2010.iv
*Without AIDS, the total number of double orphans in sub-Saharan Africa would have declined between 1990 and 2010. AIDS, however, will push the number of double orphans in the region from 9 million to more than 10 million by 2010.v
*Orphaned children are much more likely than non-orphans to be working in commercial agriculture, as street vendors, in domestic service and in the sex trade.vi
*Orphans are more vulnerable and at risk of becoming victims of violence, exploitation, trafficking, discrimination or other abuses.vii
Domestic Orphans
*More than 500,000 children are in United States foster care.viii
*Over 120,000 children in foster care are waiting to be adopted.ix
*Only around 50,000 children, or 18% of those waiting in foster care, are adopted every year.x
*On average, children in foster care wait over 2 years to be adopted.xi
Adoption
*Over one-third of Americans have ever considered adopting, but no more than 2 percent of Americans have actually adopted.xii
*48% of the people who have seriously considered adoption indicated that they would first look to a house of worship (church) for information or advice about adopting.xiii
Global Orphans
*Over 130 million orphans and waiting children under the age of 18 have lost one or both parents.i
*Over 13 million double orphans under the age of 18 have lost both parents.ii
*Sub-Saharan Africa, with 48.3 million orphans, has the highest proportion of children who are orphans at 12%
*Asia has the largest total number of orphans with 73.7 million orphans, which represents 6% of all children
*Latin America and the Caribbean has 10.7 million orphans, also representing 6% of all children.iii
*Over 15 million children have lost a parent due to AIDS, and that number is expected to rise to over 20 million by 2010.iv
*Without AIDS, the total number of double orphans in sub-Saharan Africa would have declined between 1990 and 2010. AIDS, however, will push the number of double orphans in the region from 9 million to more than 10 million by 2010.v
*Orphaned children are much more likely than non-orphans to be working in commercial agriculture, as street vendors, in domestic service and in the sex trade.vi
*Orphans are more vulnerable and at risk of becoming victims of violence, exploitation, trafficking, discrimination or other abuses.vii
Domestic Orphans
*More than 500,000 children are in United States foster care.viii
*Over 120,000 children in foster care are waiting to be adopted.ix
*Only around 50,000 children, or 18% of those waiting in foster care, are adopted every year.x
*On average, children in foster care wait over 2 years to be adopted.xi
Adoption
*Over one-third of Americans have ever considered adopting, but no more than 2 percent of Americans have actually adopted.xii
*48% of the people who have seriously considered adoption indicated that they would first look to a house of worship (church) for information or advice about adopting.xiii
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
A Facebook group you must join!
I received a facebook request this morning that caught me a little off guard. It was sent from my nephew Jeremy. Someone created a group called "Get Holder back in the gym." About this time last year Bryan started going to the gym and started his journey to fitness. He lost 20 or 25 pounds and was feeling much better. His energy level was much higher, his stress level was lower, and he slept much better. With the opening of The Garage and the preparation for that, he got out of his routine.
Everyone around us was noticing and commenting on Bryan's journey to wellness. We were all very proud of him. The last couple of weeks Bryan has been saying that he needs to go back and he has become more sluggish and more stressed. Though the facebook request caught me off guard, I was glad to see it. I think the push and encouragement might just be the thing that he needs to get him back in there.
If you are on facebook, please join this group. The more encouragement Bryan has the more likely he is to get back on it. Let me be clear and say that I love him exactly like he is. I don't care if he loses another pound. I do want him to feel better and to relieve some of the stress that he is under and in the past the gym has been a great way for him to do this. The more people who join, the more likely he will be. Who doesn't need that kind of accountability!
I have been struggling with this myself. I have never been in the gym and I need to get there. Right now, the location is a major issue for me. The gym is about 30 mins from our house and 45 or more mins from my office. It is WAY out of the way for me. However, I need to do something. Pray that I will get motivated and figure something out soon.
Everyone around us was noticing and commenting on Bryan's journey to wellness. We were all very proud of him. The last couple of weeks Bryan has been saying that he needs to go back and he has become more sluggish and more stressed. Though the facebook request caught me off guard, I was glad to see it. I think the push and encouragement might just be the thing that he needs to get him back in there.
If you are on facebook, please join this group. The more encouragement Bryan has the more likely he is to get back on it. Let me be clear and say that I love him exactly like he is. I don't care if he loses another pound. I do want him to feel better and to relieve some of the stress that he is under and in the past the gym has been a great way for him to do this. The more people who join, the more likely he will be. Who doesn't need that kind of accountability!
I have been struggling with this myself. I have never been in the gym and I need to get there. Right now, the location is a major issue for me. The gym is about 30 mins from our house and 45 or more mins from my office. It is WAY out of the way for me. However, I need to do something. Pray that I will get motivated and figure something out soon.
Monday, November 10, 2008
God is faithful
Once again this weekend, God has proven to us that He is always faithful to answer our prayers. Friday night we, MSM, hosted The After Party after the Wren/Easley game. Bryan was a bit concerned that things would not turn out so well, mostly due to the weather. Well, it went GREAT!!! We had a great turn out and the students seemed to have a great time. Even officer Roger got in on the karaoke.
This morning, we had around 70 Middle School kids in the service. We have been around 70 or 75 each week so far. Sammy was teaching in the main service today, so Pastor Eddie hung out in the middle school service. We had 8 salvations! Pastor Eddie got to talk with two of them. After the service we had a newcomers luncheon. Several of the families had students who have been coming to youth. All of them made positive comments about the student ministry. It was very encouraging.
I am going to back track a little now.
If you have been reading for the last few weeks, you know that we have been praying for clarity about some decisions we needed to make in reference to our adoption. On Saturday, God answered those prayers. It was such an obvious answer that we couldn't deny it. It has been emotionally draining waiting for this answer and I never expected it to come the way that it did. However, I am very glad that it came and that it is now clear.
Right now, I don't feel like I should share all the details, but I do want to thank you for your prayers. It was a reality that was somewhat hard to take, but it is very clear now that God wants us to continue to wait. Please pray now for the child that was invovled in this situation.
We are looking forward to the 22nd when we will be meeting with the social workers at DSS. Hopefully this will speed the process along a little. Then again, this could be another one of those hurry up and wait experiences. No matter what, God continues to show me that He is still very much in the middle of this and He isn't going anywhere. At least that is one thing I know for sure!
This morning, we had around 70 Middle School kids in the service. We have been around 70 or 75 each week so far. Sammy was teaching in the main service today, so Pastor Eddie hung out in the middle school service. We had 8 salvations! Pastor Eddie got to talk with two of them. After the service we had a newcomers luncheon. Several of the families had students who have been coming to youth. All of them made positive comments about the student ministry. It was very encouraging.
I am going to back track a little now.
If you have been reading for the last few weeks, you know that we have been praying for clarity about some decisions we needed to make in reference to our adoption. On Saturday, God answered those prayers. It was such an obvious answer that we couldn't deny it. It has been emotionally draining waiting for this answer and I never expected it to come the way that it did. However, I am very glad that it came and that it is now clear.
Right now, I don't feel like I should share all the details, but I do want to thank you for your prayers. It was a reality that was somewhat hard to take, but it is very clear now that God wants us to continue to wait. Please pray now for the child that was invovled in this situation.
We are looking forward to the 22nd when we will be meeting with the social workers at DSS. Hopefully this will speed the process along a little. Then again, this could be another one of those hurry up and wait experiences. No matter what, God continues to show me that He is still very much in the middle of this and He isn't going anywhere. At least that is one thing I know for sure!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
*WOW*
WOW, that is all I could say as I sat here crying about 30 minutes ago. I have been reading a lot about forgiveness and coming to terms with family losses lately. (Much of this has been from an adoption perspective.) A new book on this subject has coming out called Running for My Life by Warrick Dunn. Dunn plays for Tampa Bay. The book is about his journey through football and life.
Ok, I hate football, so why would this spark my interest and what does it have to do with loss and forgiveness? Chapter 1 is titled Face to Face. Dunn talks about his trip to Angola state prison where he faced and forgave the young man that killed his mother. He talks about how the counseling he received help him move past the hurt to forgive this man and make something of his loss.
Watch this video to get a better idea. (Sorry, I can"t figure out how to embed the video!)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/18424824#27573310
There is an ex cert from the book available on the Today Show. Though I have never bought or read a sports book before, I will definitely be adding this one to my collection. I'll keep you posted.
Ok, I hate football, so why would this spark my interest and what does it have to do with loss and forgiveness? Chapter 1 is titled Face to Face. Dunn talks about his trip to Angola state prison where he faced and forgave the young man that killed his mother. He talks about how the counseling he received help him move past the hurt to forgive this man and make something of his loss.
Watch this video to get a better idea. (Sorry, I can"t figure out how to embed the video!)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/18424824#27573310
There is an ex cert from the book available on the Today Show. Though I have never bought or read a sports book before, I will definitely be adding this one to my collection. I'll keep you posted.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A Beautiful Site
This past weekend, we went to Asheville, NC for a little quiet time. On the way back, we stopped by the Billy Graham Training Center. Neither of us had been there before, so we didn't know what to expect.
I think it is safe to say that we were both blown away. We didn't expect for this to be an emotional experience, but it was. Even me, stone face, couldn't help but cry. It was really odd (in a good way). We both became completely overwhelmed with emotion as we were looking at photos of the Graham family and different crusades they had done. It was very humbling to think that God could use one person in such incredible was. One very willing person.
The facility is beautiful! You definitely need to visit if you have a chance. Here are some photos that I took inside the chapel.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
November is Adoption Awareness Month
FOSTER CARE STATISTICS
*Currently, there are approximately 513,000 children in foster care in the United States. It's estimated that 114,000 are eligible for adoption.
*In 2005, about 51,000 children were adopted from foster care.
*68% of parents who adopt from foster care are married couples, 27% are single females, 2% are unmarried couples, and 3% are single males.
*Median age of child in foster care: 10.6 years.
*Race/ethnicity of children in foster care: 41% Caucasian, 32% African-American, 18% Hispanic, and 1% Asian; 8% other.
*The average child in foster care goes through three different placements and stays in the system for nearly 29 months.
*Each year, about 20,000 children age out of foster care.
*Currently, there are approximately 513,000 children in foster care in the United States. It's estimated that 114,000 are eligible for adoption.
*In 2005, about 51,000 children were adopted from foster care.
*68% of parents who adopt from foster care are married couples, 27% are single females, 2% are unmarried couples, and 3% are single males.
*Median age of child in foster care: 10.6 years.
*Race/ethnicity of children in foster care: 41% Caucasian, 32% African-American, 18% Hispanic, and 1% Asian; 8% other.
*The average child in foster care goes through three different placements and stays in the system for nearly 29 months.
*Each year, about 20,000 children age out of foster care.
Shout Outs
In preparation for our adoption, I have been trying to take advantage of as many resources as possible. A hand full of friends have suggested books that I have been trying to read, along with ones that I have found recommended on the Internet. I want to take a minute to give some Shout Outs, as our students would say, to these great resources.
Before I have mentioned Before You Were Mine, Parenting with Love and Logic, and Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. Someone also recommended The Five Love Languages of Children, but I haven't gotten to that one yet. I would also like to read some books about attachment.
Besides books, I have tried to find blogs and other websites, as well as pod casts. One podcast in particular has been such a blessing. The Foster Parenting Podcast with Tim and Wendy is one that I would highly recommend. They are Christians and are currently fostering to adopt two girls. They are very honest and share as much about their experiences as much they can. If you have ever considered adoption or foster care, I would highly recommend that you take a listen. It puts a lot of things in perspective for you.
Well, those are my adoption shout outs for now. I will keep you updated on future finds. If you have suggestions, please pass them on.
Before I have mentioned Before You Were Mine, Parenting with Love and Logic, and Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. Someone also recommended The Five Love Languages of Children, but I haven't gotten to that one yet. I would also like to read some books about attachment.
Besides books, I have tried to find blogs and other websites, as well as pod casts. One podcast in particular has been such a blessing. The Foster Parenting Podcast with Tim and Wendy is one that I would highly recommend. They are Christians and are currently fostering to adopt two girls. They are very honest and share as much about their experiences as much they can. If you have ever considered adoption or foster care, I would highly recommend that you take a listen. It puts a lot of things in perspective for you.
Well, those are my adoption shout outs for now. I will keep you updated on future finds. If you have suggestions, please pass them on.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
4 years of reflection
Today is the 4th anniversary of the murder of Leslie Mazzara. Leslie was one of my best friends in high school . Leslie’s death was the last major event of the absolute hardest year of my life. That summer we made the transition into Bryan’s current position at Marathon. Any change in ministry leadership is tough, but this particular transition carried a lot more emotions and confusion than the typical change. We were so excited about the opportunity that God had given us, but at the same time we knew that the former pastor left with some hurt. Bryan officially came on staff August 1st. A week or so later, I resigned my position and accepted a new job that began September 1st. There was some tension that came with that because I had been working for my dad.
That October became the single worst month ever! October 11th my Granddaddy died very suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack. My Granddaddy was the single most important man in my life. He and my Grandmother raised me and I had a very special bond with them. I had never faced a loss like this. The day that we buried my Granddaddy , my pastor’s wife told us that one of our volunteers (he was a parent to one of our students) had been killed in a car accident that morning. The following week, one of our students was hospitalized for cutting her self. Her mother was in jail and she had no other family, so we were called to the hospital. We spent the whole night there with her and got her checked into a children’s treatment facility. Over the next few weeks, we would call and make visits to see her. We were also trying to make arrangements for her care after she was released. As if all that weren’t enough, I get the call that Leslie had been killed.
Needless to say, my world had totally been turned upside down. Four years later, I can look back on the madness, cry, and say that I have grown and learned a lot. I would like to share a few of those lessons with the hope that they might help someone else.
Lesson 1 & 2: I don’t have to be the strong one & Everyone needs to grieve.
I have always had this idea in my mind that I have to be a rock. Never let them see you sweat. Growing up in the situation that I did, I grew up really fast. It was necessary for me to grow up and face challenges like an adult even as a small child. This mindset made it really hard to grieve. I thought that I had to hold it all together. It was my job to single handedly hold my family together and to be the one that could handle all of this flawlessly. I needed to be strong and take care of everyone.
In front of everyone I put on a tough front. I was strong. Once I was alone, I fell apart. Thank goodness for my sweet Bryan. He would just hold me and let me get it all out. He never pushed, he was just there. It took a few weeks, but I finally realized as strong as I thought I was, I couldn’t do this on my own. Roy McCall, one of our pastors, was such a blessing. He did some counseling with me and helped me to see, that I couldn’t help anyone until I helped myself. The strongest thing I could do, was to face my feelings and grieve. Only after that, could I help my family or anyone else.
Lesson 3: Don’t take relationships for granted.
We never really think that something could happen to someone we love. Because of this, we often let circumstances and situations get the best of us. We hold back and don’t always follow those leadings that we get. I had not talked to my grandparents for several days when my Granddaddy died. That morning as I drove to work, I told myself that I needed to call them and make plans to come by after work. I’m sad to say, that I never made that call. Looking back, I can’t help but think that was the Lord’s way of giving me the opportunity to say goodbye.
In 9th and 10th grade, Leslie and I were inseparable. In 11th grade, Leslie started spending more and more time with some other friends and by our senior year, we were only together occasionally. We went to different colleges and chose different paths and gradually lost touch. Several years later, I saw her in the mall and chose not to speak for whatever reason. Through her death, I was reunited with several friends. Unfortunately, we have not all been that great about staying in touch.
I can’t focus on regrets, it doesn’t do any good, but I can look back and make changes for the future.
Lesson 4: (Probably the most important) Time really does heal all wounds.
In the midst of all of this and even months later, I thought that I would never heal. I honestly thought that I would continue to cry over every tiny thing and that I would always feel like my life was completely out of control. Every picture, every thought, every comment, I thought that I would never have another day without the deep pain, sadness, and crying. Life would never be the same again.
Well, I was right about one thing, life never would be the same again. But, it would go on and it would get easier. You can’t experience a major loss and not be changed by it. You can, however, choose not to be frozen by the loss. For many months I still struggled greatly with my emotions and processing the losses. Each year that has gone by has gotten a little easier. I haven’t forgotten about Granddaddy or Leslie, or any of the other life changes I experienced that year. I see my Granddaddy’s picture on my dresser everyday. I go into my Grandma’s house and see the chair that he sat in at the table. I see and hear things all the time that make me think of him. At first, I saw all of those things and I would think about how brokenhearted I was and how much I wished he hadn’t gone. It all reminded me of my loss.
Now, they remind me of my blessings. I see those things and I think of great memories I shared with him. I think about how lucky I was to have those 26 years with him. I think of how blessed I am to have been loved the longest (though my family may argue that I was loved the most). My Granddaddy was such a huge part of my life that it is hard not to be reminded of him everyday. Sometimes, like now, I still cry and I always miss him dearly. It is my job now to preserve those memories and remember what a blessing he was and still is to me!
How did I get to that point? A lot of time, a lot of prayer, a lot of support, and a wonderful suggestion by Roy. Roy encouraged me to write a letter to my Granddaddy and to Leslie. The letter was a way for me to say all the things I didn’t have a chance to before they passed. I could be totally honest and there was no fear of the response. This was a way to get closure, but also, to be able to articulate my feelings. I would suggest this to anyone facing a loss.
Healing is a continual process and I am still on the journey, but I now know that I don’t have to be on that journey alone. As a matter of fact, the more the better. After all, there is strength in numbers.
That October became the single worst month ever! October 11th my Granddaddy died very suddenly and unexpectedly from a heart attack. My Granddaddy was the single most important man in my life. He and my Grandmother raised me and I had a very special bond with them. I had never faced a loss like this. The day that we buried my Granddaddy , my pastor’s wife told us that one of our volunteers (he was a parent to one of our students) had been killed in a car accident that morning. The following week, one of our students was hospitalized for cutting her self. Her mother was in jail and she had no other family, so we were called to the hospital. We spent the whole night there with her and got her checked into a children’s treatment facility. Over the next few weeks, we would call and make visits to see her. We were also trying to make arrangements for her care after she was released. As if all that weren’t enough, I get the call that Leslie had been killed.
Needless to say, my world had totally been turned upside down. Four years later, I can look back on the madness, cry, and say that I have grown and learned a lot. I would like to share a few of those lessons with the hope that they might help someone else.
Lesson 1 & 2: I don’t have to be the strong one & Everyone needs to grieve.
I have always had this idea in my mind that I have to be a rock. Never let them see you sweat. Growing up in the situation that I did, I grew up really fast. It was necessary for me to grow up and face challenges like an adult even as a small child. This mindset made it really hard to grieve. I thought that I had to hold it all together. It was my job to single handedly hold my family together and to be the one that could handle all of this flawlessly. I needed to be strong and take care of everyone.
In front of everyone I put on a tough front. I was strong. Once I was alone, I fell apart. Thank goodness for my sweet Bryan. He would just hold me and let me get it all out. He never pushed, he was just there. It took a few weeks, but I finally realized as strong as I thought I was, I couldn’t do this on my own. Roy McCall, one of our pastors, was such a blessing. He did some counseling with me and helped me to see, that I couldn’t help anyone until I helped myself. The strongest thing I could do, was to face my feelings and grieve. Only after that, could I help my family or anyone else.
Lesson 3: Don’t take relationships for granted.
We never really think that something could happen to someone we love. Because of this, we often let circumstances and situations get the best of us. We hold back and don’t always follow those leadings that we get. I had not talked to my grandparents for several days when my Granddaddy died. That morning as I drove to work, I told myself that I needed to call them and make plans to come by after work. I’m sad to say, that I never made that call. Looking back, I can’t help but think that was the Lord’s way of giving me the opportunity to say goodbye.
In 9th and 10th grade, Leslie and I were inseparable. In 11th grade, Leslie started spending more and more time with some other friends and by our senior year, we were only together occasionally. We went to different colleges and chose different paths and gradually lost touch. Several years later, I saw her in the mall and chose not to speak for whatever reason. Through her death, I was reunited with several friends. Unfortunately, we have not all been that great about staying in touch.
I can’t focus on regrets, it doesn’t do any good, but I can look back and make changes for the future.
Lesson 4: (Probably the most important) Time really does heal all wounds.
In the midst of all of this and even months later, I thought that I would never heal. I honestly thought that I would continue to cry over every tiny thing and that I would always feel like my life was completely out of control. Every picture, every thought, every comment, I thought that I would never have another day without the deep pain, sadness, and crying. Life would never be the same again.
Well, I was right about one thing, life never would be the same again. But, it would go on and it would get easier. You can’t experience a major loss and not be changed by it. You can, however, choose not to be frozen by the loss. For many months I still struggled greatly with my emotions and processing the losses. Each year that has gone by has gotten a little easier. I haven’t forgotten about Granddaddy or Leslie, or any of the other life changes I experienced that year. I see my Granddaddy’s picture on my dresser everyday. I go into my Grandma’s house and see the chair that he sat in at the table. I see and hear things all the time that make me think of him. At first, I saw all of those things and I would think about how brokenhearted I was and how much I wished he hadn’t gone. It all reminded me of my loss.
Now, they remind me of my blessings. I see those things and I think of great memories I shared with him. I think about how lucky I was to have those 26 years with him. I think of how blessed I am to have been loved the longest (though my family may argue that I was loved the most). My Granddaddy was such a huge part of my life that it is hard not to be reminded of him everyday. Sometimes, like now, I still cry and I always miss him dearly. It is my job now to preserve those memories and remember what a blessing he was and still is to me!
How did I get to that point? A lot of time, a lot of prayer, a lot of support, and a wonderful suggestion by Roy. Roy encouraged me to write a letter to my Granddaddy and to Leslie. The letter was a way for me to say all the things I didn’t have a chance to before they passed. I could be totally honest and there was no fear of the response. This was a way to get closure, but also, to be able to articulate my feelings. I would suggest this to anyone facing a loss.
Healing is a continual process and I am still on the journey, but I now know that I don’t have to be on that journey alone. As a matter of fact, the more the better. After all, there is strength in numbers.
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