Insecurity

Today's lesson was about insecurity, and I must admit that I am guilty of letting insecurity creep in and take over. Insecurity seems to be the root of my perfectionism. (That word keeps coming up over and over again. I wonder if God is trying to tell me something.)

I had not really equated my perfectionism and controlling tendencies with insecurity, but lets call an apple an apple. This is so frustrating because I thought I was secure in who I am and why I am here. I will say, that sometimes struggle with my worth.

Purpose has always been something really vague and out of reach for me. I've always known that God had a purpose for me, but I could never grasp exactly what that purpose was. I think I've always expected God to show me something big like a doctor, teacher, etc. I totally missed the fact that God gives us a purpose everyday. No, it is not a life career, it is a lifestyle. He calls me to live for Him each day. The purpose is for me to be a beacon of Him, to produce fruit, and to be His hands, feet, and mouth.

It's funny how He makes things so plain and simple that I miss it looking for the big picture. This is just another reminder that it is not about me at all, but it is all about Him. If I would stop searching for the Holy Grail, I might see the cup in my hand.