What I'm Reading in July

This month I have been able to read two books. I enjoy reading and this is the most I've been able to read in a long time. I must say that I made some good choices. Here is my take on my selections.

Before You Were Mine

If you are adopting, no matter what point in the process, you need this book. The staff at DSS told everyone in our adoption class that we need to make a life book for our children. This is different than a baby book, because there are so many unknowns and unseens when you adopt. I had already begun to make our Little Buddy's life book, but was unsure of some things that should be included. This book gives you a step by step guide to making a Life Book. Often with adopted children, their birth stories my be difficult to discuss or the story may have many holes in it. You may be unsure how to tell their story. Instead of giving up and leaving it out, the authors (an adoptee and an adoptive mom) walk you through the hurdles. There are questionnaires to help spark your thoughts and get you moving in the right direction. They help you see how to tell your child's story, even the parts you don't know. They also help you to understand the importance that the Life Book plays in your child's identity. What I liked most is that it is written from a Christian perspective. The ladies show you how to let your child see God's hand through their whole life, even before you. I'm definitely passing this one on!

Scars that Wound; Scars that Heal

WOW! I couldn't put this book down, I read more than half of it yesterday morning. Author Jan Kern, runs a rehabilitative ranch in California. They work with teens and young adults that struggle with self injury, eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, etc. This book is about self-injury. About 4 or 5 years ago, Bryan and I were exposed to self-injury for the first time. We were desperate to help a young lady in our youth group, but we had no idea how. This was the most difficult thing that I have ever faced in ministry. I was so broken and desperate and could not seem to get help anywhere. It seemed no one knew how to help her or tell us how to help her. Just thinking about it still brings me to tears and breaks my heart.

Since that time, this issue has come up several more times (1 time is far too many!). I have wanted so desperately to know how to help. This book is a God send!! Kern takes a young girl named Jackie and takes you through her journey. (Jackie's story was almost identical to our young friend, which made it a tough read.) The chapters are broken into three parts. The first part tells Jackie's story. The second part is Jackie, her family, counselors, and friends looking back on her story and explaining how she worked through those parts. The final part is Kern talking to other young people dealing with these issues. Throughout the book, Kern includes boxes that let you know how to help someone in this situation. She also includes MANY scripture to point the self-injurer back to Christ and His healing and forgiveness. At the end of each chapter she includes questions to help the self-injurer to think through and process what may have brought them to this place and how they can break these chains. She also includes a writing prompt.

This book is incredible! Every student ministry needs 10 copies. Youth pastors and youth workers need to read this. You need copies to hand to every kid that struggles with this. We all need to understand that this problem is much deeper than simply wanting attention. Like Jackie, many of these kids are dealing with much deeper issues (molestation, abuse, etc.). These students, do need professional help, but this book will point you in the right direction and give you a better understanding of where this behavior comes from. It will also help you understand how to best love and support these hurting students. I will warn you, it is emotionally hard to read, but a MUST!