I love working in the afternoon, all the good TV shows come on around lunch time. For the first time, today I was able to catch Adoption Stories on Discovery Channel. This was really exciting for me, since we are in the process of adopting our first child. Yes, I cried! No, I am not a crier, but this always gets me. It is a very emotional subject.
We started the process officially in January. (We started filling out paperwork in November, but didn't turn it in until January.) It has been an emotional process for both Bryan and I, I know it is not surprising that Bryan is emotional. The paperwork required that we include health information about our families. Because of the amount of detail, we had to ask for help. Most of our family was very excited for us and happy to give us any info needed. However, we did face questions and hurtful comments from some people.
When adopting many people will ask if you plan to have your own. You can often tell a person's motive in the way that they ask this question. Some have seemed to be nosey, some genuinely interested in our family, and some as if our adopted child is not really ours. In our case, we don't know if there are fertility problems, we honestly feel that adoption is the plan for us no matter what. What has hurt the most is when a family member asked and it is obvious that he will not consider our child to really be a part of the family.
I plan to talk a lot more about adoption and our process in the coming weeks. What I want to leave you with today is this:
Consider your motive when asking about someone's adoption. You don't know what has brought them to this incredible decision. You don't know the pain they may have felt. Be sensitive to their emotions. Put yourself in their shoes.
1 comment:
It is strange how open some people feel to comment when it comes to your kids. I am very sorry you had a family member be the one to say something hurtful, that can be even tougher than strangers saying things. Any day now, how exciting!!
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