I am adopted, YEAH!

Since we last joined each other I have done some reading. Much of it has been magazine and Internet articles, but I have also begun reading two books. One is "The Essential 55" by Ron Clark and "The Quest For Character" by Charles Swindoll. I will comment on these as I get further into them. If you are in education, I hear that Ron Clark's books are phenomenal. So far he is right on target. This was a must read according to my aunt (she gave me the book) so I thought I would give it a chance.

A lot of my reading has been about adoption. Bryan and I plan to adopt internationally, so I have been looking for as much info as I can find. Adoption has become a passion of mine over the last 4 or 5 years. I had never considered it before, but God ever so politely smacked me over the head with the thought one day as I was listening to the radio. It didn't take very long for God to move Bryan the same way. It breaks my heart to know that there are precious children out there with no one to dry their tears or to applaud and encourage them. What a blessing children are!!! I have never seen my Lord manifested more clearly than in the face of some of the many children that I have worked with.

Just last week I was faced with one of those precious ones. At school I received a call from DSS saying that they were sending a child to register. He was in their custody and they were allowing him to live temporarily with a family member. When he walked in the door all you could see were his perfect white teeth. He was so happy to have a new start. The little boy was sooo cute, sweet, and friendly. He was whisked away by a counselor to have a placement test. After about 30 minutes he returned with her to the main office and he was quite proud of himself. It almost seemed that his goal was to add a little sunshine to our day. Mission Accomplished!! He entertained us for the next 15 -20 minutes as the Principal worked on placing him in a classroom. In a room full of women, he was definitely the star. We couldn't resist telling him how cute and smart he was. He insisted that he had taught himself his shapes and colors. This precocious little fella just may have. Soon he was escorted down the hall to the Kindergarten class chosen for him. I am most certain that his two teachers picked up where we left off with the doting.

One of the other ladies in the office was going over his paperwork and saw the DSS documentation. It absolutely broke my heart to hear what this poor baby had been dealing with in his five short years of life. He certainly deserved a new chance at life and all the doting a boy can take. Later in the week his teacher came to us and shared with us about her time with him. The first day, she walked him to the bus and made sure that he was safely inside and that the driver knew where to take him. The sweet little one looked up at her and said, "this has been the best day of my life." The next day before loading the bus he told her that he loved her.

The best day of his life... He just came from DSS. He is in the custody of an agency, not a person, an agency. How could this possibly be the best day of his life? Oh, to have the heart of a child. Each day is new and yesterday doesn't matter. All I could think about was taking him home with me and giving him a real family. A family that would love and protect him. A family to guard his heart and show him why each day is new.

I can't wait for the day that God blesses me with the one that will come home with me. It is such a wonderful reminder to me of how he loves me and how he adopted me. I can't think of any better example of what he has done for me than the gift of adoption.

Shampoo Snob

Ok, so this is a totally pointless blog and it is probably a waste of your time. I hardly ever post though, so I thought I would share my latest random thought.

You see all these crazy shampoo commercials on tv and wonderful how amazingly exciting shampoo can really be. Does shampoo really make a difference? If your hair is clean isn't that the point. Who needs all the hubub. Your average person walks in Wal-Mart, Target, or Walgreens and looks for what smells good and is on sale. Of course they want their hair to look clean and healthy and to smell pleasant, but they realize that they are not going to become amazing attractive simply because of that shampoo.

Truth be known, I am a shampoo snob. I used to buy the Target special and even Target brand at times. However, I decided a few years ago to indulge myself and stray from my normally frugal ways. I bought salon shampoo! Many people find it absurd to spend $10 or more on shampoo, but not me. I am a believer! Shampoo truly does make a difference.

As you know, I have a curly mop on my head. Those curls used to be either uncontrollable or just plain flat. Though I am not a sissy girl, I do have a prissy side and that prissy side makes me care about my hair. However stupid or shallow it is, my hair does affect my mood. Now, notice I said affect, not control. If my hair does not cooperate I will be aggravated for an hour or so and I will be a little more self conscious throughout the day, but my day is not crushed. I can get over it and move on. When I feel like my hair looks good, it gives a little extra boost for the day, and who doesn't need that?!

So what brought on this shampoo obsession and why do I share it with you? Occasionally I like to give my hair a break and I will try a different shampoo. The last one that I sampled was Matrix curl life. (I hope I don't get sued!) Knowing that I am picky about such things I bought a small sample sized bottle and only spent $2 each for the shampoo and conditioner. That was the biggest waste of $4!!!! I hated it. My hair was so flat and heavy. It was totally wrong for my hair. Thank goodness I only spent $4, that made it a lot easier to trash the half that was left.

After about two weeks, I made the trip to the salon to buy my good ole standby. And yes, the standby cost me $20, but it will last me the rest of the year. (We don't share shampoo in my house! I buy him his own salon brand.) Less than a week after the switch back my hubby Bubby even noticed the change. He commented on hair my hair looked different and better than it had for a few weeks.

Don't tell me that shampoo doesn't matter!!! By the way, my favorite is Curls Rock by Catwalk. I have to give props to Ashley Rogers for suggesting it about 3 or 4 years ago. It hasn't done me wrong!

Desperate for Change

Have you ever felt desperate for change? I have often wanted things to be different, thought it would be nice or convenient. However, I don't think I have ever felt desperate for change... until now.

My life seems to be in this awful rut right now, it has been for months. I am tired of my life. Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed or suicidal or anything like that. I am simply sick and tired of the way that I have been living. There is so much more to this life than what I have been living out the last year. This is the most disconnected I have ever felt. My whole life seems to be in disarray. It is total chaos. My organized box has been thrown out the window and I don't know what to do.

It is hard to tell if this is God's way of showing me how far I have strayed, or if He is simply preparing me for something more. I desperately hope that He is preparing me for something more. Please give me more. I just want more! Somehow, right now I think that it is ok to expect and demand more from my life and everyone around me.

I am tired of this same old routine everyday. I am tired of expecting the same old thing. I need a change!!!

I want to be in a place where the people around me want more. It seems like I am surrounded by content people. They don't expect excellence, so they don't demand it either. The sad part is, I seem to have taken on their attitude and I hate it. I don't want to be content in my ministry. I don't want to be content in my personal walk. I don't want to be content in my marriage. I don't want to be content with the condition of my home. More than anything, I want to be close to my God again. I want to feel like I am with Him everyday and learning something new everyday. I want to be challenged by the people around me. I want to desire more!! I want to desire His best.

Bryan said one time that he often has to pray for the desire to desire more of God. That is where I am right now. I am desiring the desire for more, for the best, for His best.

Maybe God is preparing me for a big change. I hope He is, it can't come soon enough. Please God send me change. I realize that change has to begin with me and I can't control those around me. I can, however, pray that God would move me where He wants me and put those people in my path that will challenge me. I desperately want the accountability of others desiring excellence. Ok, so I also know, that God may want me to change right here where I am. A change of scenery would be nice though.

Graceland or Bust!

Ok, I must admit that I am an Elvis fan. A few weeks ago Bryan and I had the opportunity to visit Memphis. No self respecting Elvis fan could go to Memphis without seeing Graceland. Our trip did have a much greater purpose than simply seeing Elvis, but that is another story.

Though I was interested to see the swarms of Elvis impersonators that must inhabit the Memphis area, surprisingly, I did not see a single one. However, I did see a couple of other interesting things at Graceland. For starters, there were quite a few groups of teenage girls visiting Graceland. Apparently, there was some sort of state basketball tournament going on in Memphis that weekend. I never expected teen aged girls to be interested in Elvis seeing that he died at least 20 years before they were even born. He was before my time as well, dying one year and one month before I was born. At least I was born in a decade that he was alive in.

You board a shuttle bus that takes you from the ticket counter across the street to Graceland. As you board the shuttle, they give you a headset that is programed to tell you about each room in the house. In the seat in front of us sat a mom of one of the teen aged girls. She was on her cell phone, apparently angry at someone. Waiting at the front door, she began to scream at whomever she was speaking to. She continued to yell as we toured Elvis' dinning room and living room. Come on, let's show some respect for the dead. This is a shrine we are talking about. Many of us had waited our whole lives to be there and we wanted to honor the king in peace. I felt terrible for the kids traveling with her. They had to be mortified! Bryan and I took our time and fell back out of the group so that this irreverent woman would not ruin my Elvis experience.

Thinking that the remainder of our tour would be pleasant, we progressed on through the home. As we moved to the grounds, we met another strange soul. This twenty something guy thought that he was some sort of philosopher. Everyone heard his "deep" thoughts on life as Elvis. He gave some poor soul a dissertation while in the racquetball court looking at the many awards. As we moved on, we were unable to get away from this guy. At the graveside, he continued to share all of his thoughts on Elvis and how he would be now and what he would change about the world. We ended up on the shuttle back with this guy, where I heard the most interesting of his theories. He says that Elvis was a republican and would have been the next president had he not died. He went on to talk about Elvis' political theories and views. I found this quite humorous since this guy was younger than me.

Anyway, I learned a lot on this trip, which included more than a trip to Graceland. That is all for another day though.

It's been a long time

Ok, so I never finished with my adventures in St. Louis. I will continue that tomorrow. I am quite the slacker. In my defense though, my laptop did crash and I have been working very hard.

A survey my husband said I had to do

1. What time is it? 5:25 pm
2. What is your full name? Crystal Drennon Holder
3. What are you most afraid of? The Dark
4. What is the most recent movie that you have seen in a theater? A night at the Musesm
5. Have you ever seen a ghost? Of course not
7. Ever been to Alaska? No
8. Ever been toilet papering? I have never put TP in anyone’s yard (despite popular belief). I never said I haven’t done other things though.
9. Loved someone so much it made you cry? yes
10. Been in a serious car accident? If rolling the car counts, then yes.
11 Do you plan to have any more Children? Many more since there is only a furry one now.
12. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
15. Favorite color ? Purple and Silver
16. Favorite sport to watch? College B-ball
17. Favorite Drink? Pink Lemonade
18. Favorite Ice Cream? Birthday Cake
19. Favorite fast food restaurant? Subway
20. What color is your bedroom carpet? Hardwood floor
21. How many times did you fail your driver's test? none
22. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? From the person who returns it when the address is bad.
23. What do you do when you are bored? Stupid stuff
25. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? Don’t know
26. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Don’t know
27. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their answers? Don’t know
28. Favorite TV shows? Veronica Mars
29. Favorite Car? Not a silver volvo
30. What are you listening to right now? One of our youth playing Leonard Skynard on his guitar (Barlow girl is in my cd player)
31. How many pets do you have? 1 dog (Sweet Belle)
32. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Chicken
33. What would you like to accomplish before you die? Change the life of an orphaned child
34. How many people are you sending this e-mail to? Not sure
35. Most embarrassing moment ever? I would rather not share, but it had to do with baked beans, the VP, dean, Student Activities Director, and the student body officers at my college.
36. Top 3 happiest moments ever: 1.)the moment Christ changed my life. 2). Getting married 3) the day a student shared with me how my life had positively affected hers.
37. Top 3 saddest moments ever: 1). Losing my Grandaddy 2)Realizing I was no longer an important person in my sister’s life 3) Learning that my best friend had been killed
38. Hardest you have ever laughed: My self when my most embarrassing moment happened.
39. One talent you wished you had: singing
40. One thing you would have liked to do for a living other than what you do now: What do I do? Acting

In Laws, Continental Breakfast, Flat Tires, and Cheap Chickens

Bryan and I have just returned from Missouri. This was our first trip to Missouri and one that was unforgettable to say the least. I should start out by saying that the point of the trip was to be a part of my nephew Jeremy's graduation from Army boot camp. We are extremely proud of him. He worked really hard and not only finished, but he was the honor graduate for his battalion. There is a picture of him with Bryan and I. It would be safe to say that was the only uneventful event of the trip.

I'll start at the beginning. Bryan and I were traveling with his parents. (Those of you who know Bryan's parents are probably already laughing, because can imagine what may come next.) I will spare you some of the details and get right to the good stuff. We flew from Greenville to Cincinnati and Cincinnati to St. Louis. After arriving in St. Louis we took a shuttle to the rental car facility. Our mode of transportation for the week was a very nice mini van. Though I am not usually a fan of mini vans, this one was top of the line. Navigation system, DVD player, and heated seats, etc. While waiting for the car to be ready, we watched a light snow fall. It was SNOWING!!!! Keep this in mind, it will be important later.

On the way out of Saint Louis Bryan found a Cracker Barrell and we stopped for dinner. This a very normal and very, actually ridiculously, common thing for Bryan and I. (Just ask the Powdersville CB wait staff. They say we come every weekend.) My in-laws go quite often as well, but the waitress had to think they had never been there or anywhere for that matter. My father in law chose not to wear his false teeth into the restaurant (or anywhere else for the week). He mumbles a bit anyway, but the lack of teeth make him even harder to understand. My mother-in-law decided that she had never seen a Cracker Barrell menu before. After 39 minutes and much deliberation, my father in law said, "this is the same menu as every other Cracker Barrell you have been in! Just make up your mind." The poor waitress... a bunch of southerners in the Mid-west. She probably couldn't understand a word any of us said, especially with no teeth. We had to seem like the biggest rednecks. The waitress finally quite talking to my in laws and addressed all questions and comments to me and even handed me the bill.

Before leaving CB, I asked an employee where the closest Walgreens was, she quickly stated, "the corner of Bowles and 141." Ok, thanks...Like I know where that is! Help me out sister. I must have looked quite puzzled, as she looks at me and says, "are you from here?" Sure, I am... I am the only mid western girl who sounds like she just stepped off the set of Designing Women. I never expected that reaction. Actually, I was kind of flattered. People usually talk about how cute my accent is when I travel. I have never been mistaken for a local anywhere outside of upstate SC.

Well, back to the snow. When we arrived at Walgreens I had to look. I just had to know. Yes, they had bread and milk. Plenty of bread and milk. WHAT... snow on the ground and plenty of bread and milk. I couldn't believe it. On top of that, people where driving like normal humans. No crazy, I've never seen snow before in my life, people driving the roads of St. Louis. Well, that is just the beginning. Stay tuned for more stories from the road tomorrow.

A New Year, A New Attitude

As most people do this time of year, I have been reflecting over the past year and thinking about the coming year. For those of you who have known me for a while, you know that 2004 was the most emotional year ever for me. Very suddenly and unexpectedly I lost my Grandaddy and one of my best friends from high school plus three other major events all between August and November. 2006 brought some closure for me. Leslie's murderer fianlly went to trial and should be sentenced this month. As for my Grandaddy's death, time does heal things. A new perspective does also.

I remember sitting with my Grandma at the hospital that October evening and she agreed to let the hospital harvest my Grandaddy's organs for donation. I was so angry. How could she take that away. I couldn't bear to think of him not being whole and complete when we buried him. I never shared my feelings with her and I really struggled with that. Bryan was the only person I chose to share that with. It was all that I could do to not scream out and try to stop her as she spoke to the hospital staff. It is truely amazing how God's hand works in everything.

I was very adamant that I would never make that choice and that I didn't want my loved ones to make that choice either. We should return the way we came. It never occured to me that one day my world would be rocked again, but in a totally different way. Just this week I was thinking about how God has changed my heart on this and I am so sorry that I felt that way. I was never able to tell my Grandma how I felt, and now I know why.

In 2005 a family walked into our lives and changed everything. They are continuing to change everything! As God would have it, circumstances brought Bryan and Sammy together. Soon, we were able to meet Melissa and Isaac. Who would have ever guessed that this family would impact us in such a huge way. After spending more and more time with them, we learned about Isaac's helath conditions. We even jumped "on board the I-Man train" to help raise money for Isaac's medical care in 2006.

This is where my cluelessness comes in to play. Here I was getting involved in advocating for this little guy to have his second life saving transplant. Never once did it occur to me that these transplants would not have ben possible without a family being willing to donate. In February of 2006 I signed a donor card. But again, I never considered that hospital incident. As a matter of fact, it was just this week. Though it was not Isaac that received from my Grandaddy, it was someone. It was someone's mom or dad that had to make that decision for Isaac to have a chance. So Grandma, thank you for being wiser than me and thank you for listening to the Lord's leading. I know that my Grandaddy is still with me in my heart, but he is also with someone else giving them life. Thank you Lord, for showing me how clueless I am. Thank you for opening my eyes to appreciate the beauty of a giving heart. Thank you for unslefishness.

So, I have a new attitude and a peace in my heart for 2007. Hopefully, this will be the first of many new attitudes this year. Welcome 2007!

Take That!

Ok, so here it is... My first take that. This first one is going out to Sammy Clary.

Sammy this is just for you...Take that. Who are you calling a sissy?!?!?