Youth Ministry is Bittersweet

I just read a new post on Married to A Youth Pastor that I want to share.

Birthing a New Baby:

We have been “birthing” another baby at the Maguire home, one could say. Our church has been building a youth building for the past year or so, and it is finally open! It is bitter sweet for me to be honest. I know it is an amazing opportunity and most youth ministries across the nation do not have the support that we have from our church to invest LOTS of money into its students and a super fun building, with skate park included on our church campus (for real). I love it, and I love how already I can see how it has drawn unconnected students from our community to church that will hopefully become connected to a church family. It is awesome. But I do not love the late nights and long days that it has brought for Jeff. And I do not love that we have gone from one student service on the weekend to three. (Again, please hear my heart that I am excited to see how God is going to use this building and I love students and support my husband). But part of my reality is that I just had a real baby 4 weeks ago and I just wish God’s timing was to open this great thing a few months from now. Doesn’t THAT seem like perfect timing? Do I need to teach God a lesson in “perfect timing” again? I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the greatness at one time.
There is alway so much great stuff happening in youth ministry. Do you guys ever feel bittersweet about it?


This was my reply:

We, too, opened our new student building last week, so I feel your pain. For the last year I have had even less of my hubby. Even when we are together that is where his mind is. We also had to add more services. This is such an exciting time and I am pumped to see who God is going to bring us and how He is going to move. However, I do desperately want my husband back. With the new building comes new expectations from parents and students, but it didn’t come with more staff. It is still just Bryan to deal with the 200+ students and the programing that their families expect. Boy, ministry is such a blessing and a curse!


First of all, please hear my heart, I LOVE youth ministry and I LOVE Marathon. We are blessed to have a wonderful church family and we are even more blessed to have the opportunity to shape the lives of students. With that comes A LOT of sacrifices, much more than many people realize. It is so hard to find balance... I know that Bryan is called to this job and this church. I know that his heart is to give these students every opportunity to see and experience Christ in a real way. This means a lot of time out of the house and a lot of time away from me. Since we started the process to adopt this has been even more difficult for me. Every time he comes home late, every time he leaves early, I can't help but think how much more difficult that will be for all of us when our little buddy finally arrives.

As I wrote about last week, people are very quick to criticize Bryan and to tell him what he needs to do and what he should be doing. Recently someone even had the nerve to tell him that they are tired too, they spend just as much time at the church as he does. I hate to poo poo on your pity party, but that particular day he arrived at work at 9:00am left at 8:00pm and returned the next morning at 5:30am and stayed until 7:00pm. Two more 10 or 12 hour days followed and that doesn't include the 8 or 9 hours he put in on his day off. The 4 or 5 hours he laid brick that Saturday and the 6 hours on Sunday morning and the 2 hours at a high school Bible study that night.

I wish I could count on two hands the number of parents and students that have asked for more week night programs now that we are in the building. The building is beautiful and offers far more possibilities, but it didn't come with more money or more staff. Bryan wants to offer more. He would be there every night (and he was last week, literally!) if he had the choice. I am so blessed to have a pastor and associate pastor that support us and agree with me that this is not going to happen. I went to them and told them that I refuse to give up any more of my time with my husband. As selfish as that may seem, I don't feel bad and they support me. That is a huge blessing.

If Bryan starts a program, he feels obligated to be there, and right now he would have to be. We reach 200+ students every week and Bryan is the only full time staff. He has a part time administrative assistant and two interns. Unfortunately, the economy is not helping this any. There is no money to hire more people. Without volunteers, we can't do anything. If people really want these things to happen, they are going to have to step up.

Youth ministry is bittersweet, but there has to be some balance, and right now I am the voice of balance for my husband. Call me selfish if you will, but I love my husband and I will protect my time with him!